Category: WORLD NEWS

Pistorius Sent To Live With Auntie And Uncle In Bel Air

SOURCES close to South African Olympian Oscar Pistorius have announced that he will spend some time living with relatives in America, following his shocking acquittal this morning of the premeditated murder of his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp. Pistorius, known as The Blade Runner, faced life in prison following the death of his supermodel girlfriend in February… Read more »

Israel Just Gonna Leave Its Stuff Here For A Bit

ISRAEL has announced today that it’s just gonna leave its stuff here for a bit in Gvoat. The Jewish state is believed to be doing some refurbishments at the moment and doesn’t have anywhere else to put it. “Here looks like a great place,” said the country, as it laid down some ‘protective fencing’ around… Read more »

Planet Not All That Bothered By Kurdish Mans Beheading

ABSOLUTELY everyone was unmoved today by the latest ISIS beheading video of some Kurdish guy in Iraq. News of the video, entitled “A Message in Blood”, failed to bother anyone in the slightest after being posted online several hours after another boring video showing the mass execution of 250 Syrian soldiers in the desert. “What the hell is… Read more »