Category: WORLD NEWS

Tearful US Attack Drone ‘Elated’ Over Obama Victory

A TEARFUL United States attack drone stationed in Afghanistan said it was ‘elated’ today over the news of president Obama’s re-election victory. S-3476 said it stayed up all night to watch the live coverage of the ‘nail-biting’ voting count and expressed deep emotion throughout the event. “Me and the guys were all glued to a… Read more »

Foreign Plane Crash Way More Devastating Now With British Passengers On-board

A FOREIGN plane crash is way more devastating now that there was British passengers on-board, it was reported today. What would have been a simple Nepali light aircraft crash has now spiralled into a full scale air disaster following news of the seven dead tourists. The British trekkers were believed to be travelling to the foothills of Mount Everest at the time… Read more »

Fears Of Protest Grows As Irish Newspaper Prints Name ‘Mohammad’ In Comic Sans Font

BILLIONS of Irish immigrants abroad are now facing a massive backlash from their Muslim counterparts after the newspaper ‘The Irish Daily Celestial Body’ claimed it ‘accidentally’ printed the name of ‘Mohammad’ in a Comic Sans font today. Ironically the headline in the daily tabloid that read ‘Idiot French Print Another Mohammed Cartoon’ was meant to favour the islamic… Read more »

Titgate: Nine French Officials Killed In London Embassy Attack

ROYAL fundamentalists angered over the countries publication of printed images of a topless Kate Middleton which ridiculed her tits stormed the French embassy  in London last night, killing nine French officials, witnesses  said. British protesters scaled the walls of the French embassy in the Knightsbridge area of the capital and attacked the occupants as they slept. Sources claim… Read more »

Death Of Young Woman Even More Tragic Now That She Was ‘A Fine Thing’

THE untimely death of 21-year-old Jessica Harris last Tuesday evening was said to be even ‘more tragic now’ after images released by her family reveal what an absolute ‘fine thing’ she really was. Thousands of people across the country have swamped national newspapers and internet forums with condolence letters and comments voicing their absolute disgust at the… Read more »

Facebook Apologises After Confusing Cost Of Market ‘Shares’ With ‘Share Shares’

ANALYSTS at Facebook’s IPO underwriters have admitted today to accidentally pricing actual stock market shares with the social networks own ‘share’ option which is frequently used by its 800 million members. WWN has learned that the research analysts at the company’s lead underwriters – Morgan Stanley, Goldman Sachs, and JP Morgan—had cut their earnings estimates for… Read more »