Category: WORLD NEWS

Mafia Distance Themselves From Comparisons To FIFA

THE MAFIA has been quick to distance themselves from comparisons to football’s governing body FIFA after it emerged two witnesses in a corruption case against former FIFA executives have turned up dead in recent days, WWN confirm. “Hey now, don’t drag our names into this, you’re making us look bad,” confirmed mafia spokesmademan Tony Palatino,… Read more »

God Turd Found Floating In Space

AN OBJECT previously thought to be an asteroid from interstellar space has been downgraded to being just ‘God’s turd’ following an extensive study by scientists at NASA. Discovered on the 19th of October, the object’s speed and trajectory strongly suggested it originated in a planetary system around another star, but after further testing it was found the anomaly… Read more »

Breaking: Yemen Almost Newsworthy

BREAKING: the famine in Yemen, made possible by the use of US weapons by Saudi Arabia to target and destroy food supplies, thereby committing war crimes, is tantilisingly close to being newsworthy, WWN can confirm. It is not yet clear what piece of journalism will push the conflict between Saudi Arabia and Yemen into the… Read more »

Mugabe Agrees To 4-Day Week As Dictator

A FRESH SPRINKLING of hope has been sprayed on the negotiations between Zimbabwean leader Robert Mugabe and the military, as Mugabe, 93, has confirmed he will switch to a 4-day week as dictator. Many had feared the situation in Zimbabwe could turn violent if Mugabe, who has ruled for more than 40 years, would continue… Read more »

Australia Vote ‘Yes’ Despite The Havoc & Destruction Marriage Equality Has Caused In Ireland

AUSTRALIANS currently celebrating their ‘yes vote’ to marriage equality which paves the way for Malcolm Turnbull’s government to put the decision before parliament and subsequently legislate accordingly, have been sent a harrowing and shocking warning from the people of Ireland. Scenes of joyous celebrations on the streets of the non-western Sydney part of the country… Read more »