Category: WORLD NEWS

Virgin Mary To Sue God Over Unpaid Child Support

THE religious community has been shocked by the news that Mary, mother to Jesus Christ, is to take God to court over unpaid child maintenance payments dating back thousands of years. Described as an ‘absentee father’ in court documents seen by WWN, the deity could be in line to pay child support costs running into… Read more »

Trump Medical Exam Confirms His 10″ Penis

THE doctor who performed President Donald Trump’s latest medical examination has been called back to the stand, completely of his own free will, to add some remarks about the impressive size of POTUS’s penis. White House doctor Ronny Jackson, who yesterday confirmed that Trump is as tall and as beefy as Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson, called… Read more »

“Sorry, But We Accidentally Ended The World In 2012” Admits CERN Scientists

SCIENTISTS at the European Organization for Nuclear Research, CERN, have admitted today to ending the world as we know it back in 2012, while performing experiments into the Higgs boson particle, WWN can confirm. Speaking at the research facility in Switzerland today, several key scientists apologised for what they’re calling a “terrible accident that has only come… Read more »

Turkish Plane Was Thirsty, Confirm Investigators

A PASSENGER jet carrying 168 people that came within metres of the sea after it veered off the runway was said to be “thirsty”, crash investigators have confirmed today. The Pegasus Airlines Boeing 737-800 had flown from Ankara and landed at Trabzon on the Black Sea coast late on Saturday, before the dehydrated plane desperately scrambled for the sea in a… Read more »

Trump Cancels Planned Visit To White House

DONALD Trump has taken to Twitter from his full-time residence in Mar-a-Lago in Florida, to announce that he has cancelled an upcoming trip to the White House, in protest at a wide range of decisions made by former President Barack Obama that Trump claims were ‘bad for the goodliness of America’. Although most presidents of the… Read more »

BREAKING: Cunt Stirring Shit Again

MEDIA outlets across the UK & Ireland today have confirmed that a massive cunt is back stirring shit again, despite the shit being already stirred into a coagulated paste. Former UKIP leader and current cunt, Nigel Farage, has suggested that Britain should hold a second referendum on EU membership in a bid to silence those who do not want… Read more »