Trump Kept Awake At ‘Hush Money’ Trial After Legal Team Give Him iPad Playing Bluey


FOLLOWING embarrassing reports of Donald Trump falling asleep during the first day of his ‘hush money’ trial, his legal team have resorted to tried and trusted methods used to keep toddlers awake and engaged.

“Once we saw ‘Dozing Donald’ was trending we knew we had to act,” confirmed one member of Trump’s legal team, placing a pink iPad on the court desk in front of the senile septuagenarian serial crime committer.

Reasoning with their client, the legal team said Trump could watch as much of Australian children’s cartoon Bluey as possible, so long as the volume remained at a low level, and stopped violating a court order preventing him from intimidating witnesses in the case via social media posts.

“We tried waving McDonalds in front of his nose to keep him awake at first, that didn’t work. The crayons and paper only lasted so long but then the eyes closed again. The only thing that stimulates his mind enough is the adventures of Bluey, Bandit, Chilli and Bingo,” continued one of his legal team.

News that Trump fell asleep at a trial where he faces 34 counts of falsifying business records in order to conceal the fact he paid off a porn star who he cheated on his wife with shortly after the birth of their son has led to angry reactions from his normally loyal fans.

“He’s so anti-woke he falls asleep, yet another reason to vote for him, what a genius” suggested one Trump supporter.