“I’m A Proud Practising Barrister, So You Can Bet Your Arse I’m Going To Wear The Wig & Gown On My Lunch Break”

DUBLIN barrister Michael Eoghan McCourt has confirmed that you’re very much mistaken if you think he spent his entire twenties training to be where he is today only to change out of his formal court attire every time he needs to run a personal errand.

McCourt, 37, can frequently be seen at lunchtime having a quick burrito down the road from the Four Courts at lunchtime in full black gown and white wig ensemble, citing that if a construction worker can eat their lunch wearing a high viz vest, then he can eat his dressed like a pint of Guinness if he wants.

“When the gown goes on in the morning, it stays on until evening,” said McCourt, still wearing his powdered wig while nipping into Paddy Power to stick on a tenner on the 2.30 at Punchestown.

“I’m not going to be stopping off in the jacks of the courthouse to change out of my gear every time I need to pop out for fags or a sandwich. You wouldn’t ask a nurse to change out of their ward gear on lunch break, would you? So why is it different for me, just because my uniform makes me look like the ghost of a Victorian child. And anyways, I’m not as bad as these other lads over here in the shirts and slacks wearing the lanyards of whatever tech firm they work for all day. It’s not an Olympic Medal you lanyard wanker, it’s a plastic card that lets you use the toilets. Wise up”.

McCourt went on to reason that wearing his courtroom garb around the area is an easier way of letting everyone know he’s a barrister than carrying a neon sign that says ‘I’m a barrister’.