Healy Rae Not Ashamed Enough Of Selling German Peat To Stop Doing It


HIGHLIGHTING flaws with the government’s climate change policies, Kerry TD Michael Healy Rae expressed his great shame at having to sell German peat briquettes in his shop, as Ireland’s own peat is too hard to come by.

Despite Bord na Móna confirming this year’s briquette manufacturing levels is the same as last year, Haely Rae has been consumed by soul sapping shame which could transcend generations such is its ferocious all encompassing humiliation.

“It’s disgraceful what them up in Dublin have made Michael do. Forcing him to get in touch with a supplier in Germany, who sells the peat cheap and making him import it too, and sell well above cost price, the nerve,” shared one local.

“Locals are already calling him Boris Briquette and Ludwig von Peathoven, how could you recover from that? He’s beside himself with shame, the shame is so severe it stops right before the point a person would just stop selling the stuff,” added the local.

A hot topic, climate change remains a controversial issue with people on opposite sides of the debate, with one side advocating for forward thinking policies and others saying ‘we’ll be long dead before the shit hits the fans, so fuck the coming generations’.

Elsewhere, fellow TD Danny Healy Rae echoed his brother’s feelings by stating scientists can’t explain where the Sun goes at night so he won’t be taking lectures from the likes of them, and while this climate change business isn’t real the job losses will be.

“Money for transgender judges? I’ve heard it all now,” Danny responded when reminded the ‘Just Transition’ provides funding as part of plans to create 300 jobs in the Midlands.