LOCAL Covid-19 scofflaw Miles O’Hannon is still free from Coronavirus despite adhering to none of the precautionary measures or regulations laid out by the government, much to the chagrin of his ‘goody two-shoes’ neighbours and friends.
O’Hannon, 35, tackled Coronavirus with an ‘it’s all a load of shite’ approach that many believed would surely come back to haunt him, but nearly 5 months later the Waterford native is still not only going about his daily business without a care in the world, but has begun to actively act the silly bollocks around anyone who shows the slightest concern for their health and the health of those around them.
“I don’t wish Coronavirus on anyone, except Miles if he’s going to continue to be such a prick about it” said one of O’Hannon’s neighbours, incensed that the country’s 26,000 confirmed Covid cases doesn’t include this dose.
Doctors in the Waterford area have admitted that they’re baffled as to how O’Hannon has managed to remain uninfected, with some speculating that he may be in possession of a rare gene that allows him to coast through life not giving a fuck.
“You see this from time to time; some individuals can just sail through existence without a care, never getting so much as a penalty point on their license, never getting so much as a sniffle in the winter” said one Waterford GP.
“Smoke all they want, drink all they want, hoor around town without the tool falling off them; but please, please listen to us when we say that these people are the exception, not the rule. If you attempt to replicate their actions, you’ll have a dead granny before the week is out, mark our words”.