Local Man Maybe Had One Too Many Substantial 9 Euro Meals Last Night
WATERFORD man William Henderson is this morning shaking off the effects of a hard night of substantial meals with the lads, during their tearful reunion with their local pub which does food now, apparently.
Henderson, along with Derek Adams, Headsy, maybe Paul Malone was there too but nobody is sure; hit the Wheelrim Arms at half seven last night for a delicious 9 euro chicken curry and a sum total of 24 pints between them, before sojourning to Cannigans in town for a spaghetti Bolognese and several rounds of shots.
“That fucking Spaghetti Bolognese, never again” moaned Henderson, who hadn’t had a drink since the 10th of March apart from a few cans in the house every night, but sure that’s not the same.
“Never. I was grand until I had that garlic bread with the 11th pint. After that, who the fuck knows. I think I ended up back at Headsy’s place for an hour, eating a six pack of Chicken Cordon Bleu and playing FIFA ’til fuck knows what time”.
28-year-old Henderson is one of many pub-goers nursing sore heads this morning after a night of substantial meal-eating, leading many to believe that the re-opening of bars and pubs while the pandemic is still ongoing may not be the best course of action for the country to be taking right now.
“No, it’s grand” assured publican Dermot Cannigan, “we had the lads in last night and they were all perfectly well behaved… oh, wait, just mind your step there, there’s still a bit of broken glass from a silly row that kicked off when some lad started pretending to sneeze for the laugh. We had a lot of that last night in fairness, but people like to have a bit of craic when they’ve the drink in them. It’s grand, though, our bouncers were able to throw him out without touching him, using the force or telekinesis or something”.
Meanwhile, Henderson and the lads have headed off down the town for a Shepherd’s Pie cure.