World First As Man Successfully Transitions From A Taig To A Hun

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IT’S a brave new world from one Belfast resident who has become the world’s first man to successfully transition from a Taig to a Hun.

Leaving behind the senseless hatred associated with wearing a Celtic jersey and hurling abuse at people he believes to be ‘filthy Prods’, 26-year-old Sean Kearnan now lives a different life altogether.

“I scream at dirty Catholics for being dirty Catholics,” Kearnan explained while wearing a Rangers jersey, “it’s just a completely different world now, being a Hun, doesn’t resemble my previous life at all”.

Kearnan, who now goes by the name Jacob Pemberton, wouldn’t recognise his old Taig self now that he has fully embraced being his true Hun self.

“I’m shit at dancing now too, and I’m zero craic at parties since I don’t drink. Get a hard on every time I see a picture of the Queen,” explained Pemberton, the tee-totaling Hun.

While many Huns and Taigs have tried in the past to assimilate and/or cross over by transitioning, why Pemberton was successful where others failed still baffles experts.

“It could be an advance in attitudes and also technology but this successful transition could open up the doors for others to transition, be they Taig or Hun. We can only hope,” shared Professor Michael Henderson.

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