How To Cope When Some Lad From Work Spots You In Boots With A Basket Full Of Moisturiser

THERE are few things more embarrassing than the moment when someone you work with finds out something about you that you would rather have kept private; perhaps a pornography addiction, or that thing you did with the cat 8 years ago.

However most embarrassing, for men at least, is the moment when someone walks into a pharmacy right when you’re midway through your weekly shop for moisturisers, anti-aging products, those little deodorant ball things for under your eyes, and other such unmanly things. Should such an event occur, your options are as follows:

1) Say you’re shopping for someone else

Some other, less masculine man than you, asked you to pick him up a facewash and a thing for taking rough skin off his heels while you were in boots buying Xtra-large condoms and Red Bull. Sure you couldn’t say no.

2) Start eating moisturiser

“Have you tried this new yoghurt? It’s delicious! Full of pro-biotic stuff!”… your co-worker might believe you, maybe he won’t. But it’s conceivable that eating enough moisturiser would make you stupid enough to eat moisturiser… fuck it, it’s worth a go.

3) Start looking for a new job

Maybe you can stay working in a place where your co-workers know you like cleanse, tone and moisturise your face every night; we couldn’t. We’d be emailing CVs before we left the car-park.