“This Will Be Different From Iraq, Vietnam, Gulf War, Afghanistan & Libya,” America Confirms


THE NATION of America confirmed that any further military action in Syria will result in a better outcome than in any of the previous 4,556 military interventions carried out by the Western country over the previous 50 years.

While it is still unclear if the Trump administration will add to the recent missile strikes against the Assad regime, America has confirmed that no matter what, they have learned from previous mistakes and that it will be completely different this time.

“We’ll only fly a ‘Mission Accomplished’ banner on an aircraft carrier when we’re totally certain we’ve nuked Assad in the face,” confirmed a smattering of the 320 million people who make up America.

Some critics have been quick to point out that those in leadership positions in America might not be best placed to plan, carry out and oversee a regime change in a divided country.

“America!” America responded, dispelling any doubts that could be had about a poorly thought out plan of military action in a nation located in the Middle East.

“Oohrah,” screamed the section of Americans who have never actually served in the Marines or any section of the armed forces.

Furthering assuaging fears earlier today, President Trump confirmed he had never eaten in the Al Nusra chain of Indian restaurants when asked for his thoughts on the terror group Al Nusra.

On the potential for the creation of power vacuum in Syria, Trump was clear on his vision for the war-torn country.

“There won’t be a power vacuum, I won’t allow it. We’ll only use American made hoovers, the best,” Trump explained.