Category: BREAKING NEWS


“Oh Please Not More Tarrifs, You’re Really Tickling Us” – Xi Jinping

CHINESE President Xi Jinping has called on the United States to stop imposing new tarrifs on all Chinese goods, stating that it’s starting to tickle the nation and making everyone laugh. Chuckling to himself at an official press conference, the 66-year-old general secretary of the Communist Party of China struggled to hold back tears of laughter as… Read more »

“No One Brings Me Anywhere” Local Grandmother Claims

A COUNTY Waterford pensioner has come out with fresh revelations to complete strangers today in a bid to taint her immediate family as ‘narcissistic assholes’ who apparently never bring her anywhere, WWN can confirm. Gladys Joyce, a widow of 15 years, slammed her sons and daughters for never calling in for her when they’re going on family drives, stating ‘no one… Read more »

The Tusla Guide To Irish Creches

AS MANY as 37 creche facilities are on the highest level of risk on Tusla’s risk register, according to information divulged by Tusla officials before a Joint Oireachtas Committee on Children and Youth Affairs. What does this mean? It means all 37 creches are still operating as normal, completely uninterrupted and free to carry doing… Read more »

Fungi Admits Longing For Sweet Release Of Death

SQUEAKING exclusively to WWN, famed Dingle dolphin Fungi has admitted that sometimes the daily drudge of putting on a smile for a boat load of fat tourists just makes him want to swim ‘right into the fucking propeller’. Fungi, 38, has been a staple part of the Irish tourism industry since arriving in Dingle in… Read more »

Johnson Announces £2.1bn Irish Reunification Funding

CASUALLY referred to by his government as a ‘£2.1 billion No Deal and hard border funding package’, the measures contained in Boris Johnson’s plans for Irish Reunification have been met with universal praise by those who advocate for a United Ireland. While the British media was busy confirming that communist Taoiseach Leo Varadkar was in… Read more »