We Preview Liverpool V Porto, Spurs V City

TWO mouthwatering ties await soccer fans as the Champions League kicks off its quarterfinal stage with a bang. WWN Sport looks ahead to Liverpool V Porto and Spurs V City and previews the key factors at play in the high profile first legs: Liverpool V Porto Jurgen Klopp has said his side will not underestimate… Read more »

Wiggas Granted Minority Status In America

THE much maligned and persecuted minority of ‘wiggas’ have been granted a protective ‘minority status’ in America, WWN has learned. Signed into law by US President Donald Trump, the Republican spoke movingly of wiggas contribution to American music, culture and society. “No one in history has suffered like wiggas in America, no one. And no… Read more »

Zuckerberg To Spend Nice Relaxing Evening Listening In To Everyone’s Calls

AFTER yet another busy and stressful day at Facebook HQ, American technology entrepreneur Mark Zuckerberg kicked off his $4 Walmart trainers into the area under the stairs and threw himself onto the couch for a nice relaxing evening of listening to private phone calls. Swapping from Whatsapp to Facebook messenger’s realtime calls, the young billionaire randomly highlighted a two-way video call to… Read more »

“Surely It’s Someone Else’s Turn Now” Health Minister Asks Taoiseach

IRISH Health Minister Simon Harris has asked Taoiseach Leo Varadkar if he can move on now as he has served the unofficial 2-3 year period that sucessive governments have secretly laid out for politics’ most unwanted role. Pointing to his watch, Fine Gael’s latest fall guy explained that May is only around the corner, marking 3 years exactly since he was handed the job. “You barely did… Read more »

Merkel Sound Now

GERMAN Chancellor Angela Merkel is reportedly “sound now” after announcing Germany will stand with Ireland “every step of the way” over Brexit, following years of not being sound at all, WWN can confirm. Merkel, who for many Irish citizens during the recession represented everything that was wrong with the EU, IMF and global banking cartels, said a solution to… Read more »