Local Man Had Sex Last Night

STRUTTING into work with all the confidence of Ryan Gosling in a well-tailored suit, one Waterford based building supply worker was happy to share the fact he had ‘the sex’ last night with anyone who would listen. Peter Boland, 37, took to loitering around the canteen of Macken Building Supplies asking anyone and everyone if… Read more »

“I Rubbed My Eyeballs With A Cheese Grater To Make It Stop” Late Late Show Valentines Special Complaints In Full

RTE received over 300 complaints following it’s Late Late Show Valentine’s Day special after promising the “most debauched and depraved” night of Irish television. Dozens of middle Irelanders flocked to phone lines and electronic email services to voice their disdain for last Friday’s show, with the national broadcaster also receiving a total of 10 formal… Read more »

Dublin Drugs Crime Criminal Gang Plot Murder Daylight Horror Criminal Attempt

DUBLIN, our capital city, besieged yet again by murder drugs criminals in yet another death plot plan carried out by masked gunmen in broad daylight. Victims, known to gardaí, with links to drug-related shootings and gang-related violence and mob-style executions and fire-based arson and penis-based rapes. Shot dead! As children played in a schoolyard mere… Read more »

Durex Scientists Unveil First Man Ribbed For Her Pleasure

IN A BREAKTHROUGH many thought wasn’t possible, women throughout the world can look forward to a level of pleasure never before experienced inside the confines of the bedroom this Valentine’s Day, thanks to the work of Durex and a dedicated team of scientists. A pioneering team of all female scientists working for the condom manufacturer… Read more »