Struggling To Afford Childcare? Try These Amazing Hacks


CHILDCARE in Ireland is hard to source as spaces are at a premium and that’s before taking the exorbitant costs into account.

But did you know that if you’re struggling to afford childcare there are some really cool hacks that can solve your problems?

Here’s some of the best below:

1) If you have multiple children, pass them off as one single child by placing them in a trench coat together.

2) Retrain as a creche worker, the pay is terrible, working conditions not great, stress through the roof but you’ll get to keep your kids at the creche for free, provided you hide them every time your boss comes in.

3) Get incredibly attractive women to interview for the position of live-in nanny. Your husband, motivated by pursuing an affair with a younger beautiful woman out of his league, will try to get a better paying job so you’re the sort of family that can afford a live-in nanny and the subsequent divorce.

4) Don’t vote in Fine Gael again.

5) Have you ever heard of the category of humans known only as ‘grandparents’? These incredible specimens work for free and love nothing more than spending their finite retirement years working harder than ever wrangling your temperamental wildlings.

6) Plan the gaps between your children, leave it long enough between them and your elder child can double up as a free babysitter. Don’t fret over getting the timing perfect, any three-year-old is capable of managing a small army so a new born should be a dawdle.

7) Stop think of your children as the most precious in your world and just let the crazy cat lady down the road, who thinks crows are secret government cameras, look after them.

8) Write to well known celebrities with a reputation for womanising and claim that you had a child with them. Write enough of these letter and one of them will send you some hush money.