CLOSING his eyes tight with his tongue protruding with all the concentration he was doing, Tánaiste Leo Varadkar imagined an Ireland without scrupulous tax loopholes for multinationals, billionaires and heads of state in what he later would describe as the most terrifying five minutes of his neoliberal life. “For the love of Bono, hold it… Read more »
TAINISTE Leo Varadkar has been both commended and criticised in equal measures after staging a one-man demonstration outside the homes of the anti-vax protestors who were outside his house at the weekend. Having learned the names and addresses of the dozen or so ‘patriots’ who posted videos on social media of themselves waving banners and… Read more »
PLEDGING to save the country and the government from being plunged into further crisis and ignominy, Tánaiste Leo Varadkar has confirmed he will henceforth only use a burner phone ‘like them drug dealer lads in The Wire or old school Fianna Fáil TDs’. Confirming it’s a case of lesson learned, Varadkar has pledged to throw… Read more »
LEO Varadkar will today continue to simmer on a low-heat following accusations that he leaked government documents to the National Association Of General Practitioners, with opposition parties being granted just 10 minutes to question him. “You can’t grill a politician in ten minutes, so the best we’re hoping for is to sear him a little… Read more »
FOLLOWING a controversial appearance on Claire Byrne Live yesterday evening during which he threw NPHET under a bus, Tánaiste Leo Varadkar has sought to clarify his remarks which included him stating ‘nobody on NPHET would face going on PUP in Level 5’. Unintentionally opening the floodgates and declaring ‘open season’ on NPHET, a body who’s… Read more »
MINISTER for Enterprise, Trade and Employment and Tánaiste Leo Varadkar was pictured attending a ribbon cutting ceremony for the latest jobs cut announcements around the country, keen to express to the public that his reputation as someone who loves an easy photo opportunity is unfounded. “This ribbon cutting ceremony is the one that sadly cuts… Read more »
CURRENT Tánaiste Leo Varadkar has been taken aside by Taoiseach Micheál Martin and warned against replying to statements directed at the Taoiseach during Dáil questions, which has been happening ‘a little too often’ for comfort. “Leo mate, listen, when Mary Lou McDonald launches a scathing attack on ‘the Taoiseach’, you gotta remember that it’s on… Read more »
WITH all the elegance and grace of a paraplegic sloth on quaaludes, Taoiseach Leo Varadkar awoke from his post election slumber to tear down the door of the electorate’s consciousness in the hopes of forming some kind of government that no one particularly wants. “Little pigs, little pigs, let me come in. Not by the… Read more »
IRISH Health Minister Simon Harris has asked Taoiseach Leo Varadkar if he can move on now as he has served the unofficial 2-3 year period that sucessive governments have secretly laid out for politics’ most unwanted role. Pointing to his watch, Fine Gael’s latest fall guy explained that May is only around the corner, marking 3 years exactly since he was handed the job. “You barely did… Read more »
AFTER MAKING his return from his St Patrick’s Day trip to America, Taoiseach Leo Varadkar has been asked by the Nation to act less like a fawning idiot next time his job requires him to travel abroad and promote Ireland to the world. The Taoiseach’s dream week in the US was dented by a harmless… Read more »