Varadkar Attends Ribbon Cutting Ceremony For Latest Jobs Cut Announcement


MINISTER for Enterprise, Trade and Employment and Tánaiste Leo Varadkar was pictured attending a ribbon cutting ceremony for the latest jobs cut announcements around the country, keen to express to the public that his reputation as someone who loves an easy photo opportunity is unfounded.

“This ribbon cutting ceremony is the one that sadly cuts the deepest,” confirmed Varadkar in a post to Twitter, showcasing his carefully choreographed sadness.

“Big novelty scissors like this are often associated with positive job news, but we have to adjust to the new reality that sad ribbons will have to cut too,” added Varadkar, who can’t believe he forgot to invite the media to this ceremony.

While the latest high profile job losses can come as little surprise given the global economic fallout from the Covid-19 pandemic, the Tánaiste’s use of the sad face emoji in a series of social media postings cut deep.

“Fret not, the necessary supports are in place for those individuals and businesses affected,” confirmed the minister, in a tone that suggested if you didn’t have a new job next week you can expect a knock on the door from the welfare and constant badgering for the foreseeable future.

In separate and unrelated news, all currently vacant office space around the country will now be converted into multi-million euros hotels.