Tag: NASA

Buzz Aldrin Free To Make Up Any Old Shit Now

BUZZ Adlrin, the last surviving crew member of the historic Apollo 11 moon landing mission, has spoken out following the death of his fellow astronaut Michael Collins, stating that Collins always agreed that it was Buzz Aldrin who ‘really held that whole moon trip together’. “Ask anyone and they’ll tell you; I was the star… Read more »

NASA Accused Of Using Drone To Perv On Mars

PERVERTS working at NASA have today been slammed for using a drone to stalk the red planet, WWN has learned. The criticism comes as researchers and scientists working for the US space agency flew a helicopter for the first time ever on another planet, without apparently any concern for its privacy. “We’re guessing they don’t… Read more »

‘Call Us When You Find Oil’, NASA Told

NASA’s ‘big news’ about the discovery of water on the moon has been met with a resounding ‘meh’ from humanity, in a year where even the CIA struggled to drum up wonder and awe with their announcement that UFO’s were real. The space agency had drummed up huge buzz before the announcement with a number… Read more »

Asteroid Not Man Enough To Have A Go At Earth, NASA Confirm

NASA scientists have tonight pressed the Earth’s forehead up against the barrel of an intergalactic proverbial gun and goaded whoever’s holding it to pull the trigger after a disappointing year full of near-misses from asteroids skimming past the earth, WWN can report. “If you have any stones whatsoever, then just do it!” screamed one NASA… Read more »

“That Snowflake Had It Easy” Bitter Curiosity Rover Slams Mars Landing

THERE were shots fired on social media channels today after NASA’s Curiosity rover slammed the space agencies latest Mars landing rover, InSight, branding the robotic lander a ‘snowflake’, WWN can confirm. In an early morning series of tweets, the Curiosity Rover lambasted its fellow explorer for its “flowery landing”, stating it would “love to see if it’s still functional in 5… Read more »

God Turd Found Floating In Space

AN OBJECT previously thought to be an asteroid from interstellar space has been downgraded to being just ‘God’s turd’ following an extensive study by scientists at NASA. Discovered on the 19th of October, the object’s speed and trajectory strongly suggested it originated in a planetary system around another star, but after further testing it was found the anomaly… Read more »