Tag: history

Varadkar & Martin Mark Civil War Anniversary By Kicking Lumps Out Of Each Other

THE FIRST official commemorations marking the 100th anniversary of the Irish Civil War descended into unsavoury scenes as Taoiseach Miche├íl Martin and T├ínaiste Leo Varadkar engaged in a physical fight during a plaque unveiling at the Four Courts. Initially a sombre and respectful reflection on the devastation wrought by the Civil War which saw over… Read more »

The Treaty At 100: How A Simple Document Ended All Argument, Debate & Violence

AFTER SIGNING the Anglo Irish Treaty 100 years ago today Michael Collins famously said “thank fuck Twitter isn’t around, could you imagine the roasting I’d get from those know it all wankers”. Initially stating that he had signed his own death warrant, Collins feared that creating only a partial Free State could lead to conflict… Read more »

Archaeologists Discover Fuck All

A TEAM of Waterford based archaeologists excavating what was believed to be a stone age settlement in Portlaw have stated that they’ve discovered ‘fuck all’ over the past several weeks and have kindly asked the press to leave them alone. The site, which was earmarked as a possible treasure trove for ancient finds, was deemed… Read more »

Winston Churchill Statue Frantically Deleting ‘Bengal Famine’ Section Of His Wikipedia Page

MOMENTARILY leaving its plinth in Westminster’s Parliament Square, a panicked Winston Churchill statue entered an internet cafe to remove references to all troubling aspects of Churchill’s political life, including his role in the Bengal Famine of 1943 in an attempt to keep the statue standing a little longer. Famous for his pivotal role in defeating… Read more »

British History According To Britain

THE TEARING down of a statue of slaver-but-honestly-probably-a-top-top-bloke-besides-all-that Edward Colston in Bristol by anti-racism protesters, and the negative reaction it has drawn from some, has highlighted again that official Britain’s version of British history is flawless and not a simplified, hastily rewritten version that ignores inconvenient truths. You may be confused to learn to Colston,… Read more »

Historians Warn 2020 Has Already Used Up Its Quota Of Historical Events

SPEAKING AT emergency press conference, the world’s historians called for urgent action as the year 2020 reached its maximum quota for historical events. “You can see the simple formula we use to calculate permissible volumes of history,” explained historian Erica Schubert pointing to an intimidating graph, “we’re entirely full up for news, events, viral stories… Read more »