EXHAUSTED by actually having to deal with the pressing issues that are having a direct and negative impact on their lives such as labour shortages, supply chain issues and tax rises on the everyone but the super rich, the UK has decided to cheer itself up with the warm familiar feeling it by being whipped… Read more »
THE ROYAL family’s personal witch priestess of the woods has warned Prince Andrew not to say or do anything that would incriminate himself ahead of an upcoming sexual assault investigation, while adding that slaying a stallion foal under moonlight before the Autumn equinox ‘wouldn’t hurt’ either. “Dame Hassara de Valentina Muerta hasn’t given an English… Read more »
FOLLOWING on from news stories including how their PM Boris Johnson was perfectly okay with the elderly dying, ‘Freedom Day’ lifting of restrictions seemingly designed to kill off the vulnerable, and tests and food running out, the English people are finally getting to sample what it was like to be a targeted Catholic in Northern… Read more »
WITH a ceremonial blast from two jewel-encrusted airhorns, the Queen has formally kicked off Freedom Day with a powerful speech imploring the nation to ‘have a mad one’. “Come on you slags, let one be having you” read the Queen, as all existing Covid regulations in England were officially lifted, giving the greenlight for as… Read more »
RENEWED pressure has been put on social media companies, including Twitter and Instagram, to solve England’s centuries long racism problem in the wake of abuse directed at English footballers on the platforms. “No more anonymity, you should only be able to have a social media account if it’s linked to your passport or something, that… Read more »
ENGLAND’s gallant run to the final of the Euros and subsequent loss to Italy in the cruelest fashion via penalties means football is going to Rome, but it’s not all bad news as in the aftermath of the game it became depressingly clear many English people made sure racism was staying home. Condemning the vile… Read more »
AS IF the awarding of England’s decisive penalty wasn’t scandalous enough, further replays of the build up to the incident shows that as Raheem Sterling slalomed into the Danish box there were several hundreds other footballs on the field of play at the same time. Something referee Danny Makkelie decided to do nothing about, these… Read more »
WHILE England have expressed their confusion at being inconvenienced by this evening’s foregone conclusion against Denmark, a mere 4 days before they beat Italy in the final of the Euros, the game will still go ahead. BBC and ITV’s pre-match analysis of the semi-final will consist of ‘can you believe we beat Denmark’ in the… Read more »
THEY say 30,000 daily cases, mainly Delta, party over; but contrary to this advice the UK is to press ahead with lifting of all restrictions in the country on the 19th of July, as if the Covid death toll were much less than 128,000 souls, WWN can report. “I was dreaming when I said we… Read more »
WWN has have moved the England ‘It’s Coming Home’ Doomsday Clock forward by five minutes to 11:55PM, the closest it has been in decades to 12 midnight, and total England major tournament victory. Although the chances of England winning the Euros remains a distant and improbable threat, it would be foolish to not prepare for… Read more »