Tag: dup

DUP Admit They Could ‘Do Without This Shit’

DUP leader Arlene Foster has taken to drinking Gaviscon straight out of the bottle this week, following a series of events that have caused her party ‘nothing but grief’, including the stunning general election performance of Sinn Féin in the Republic. Crucified with the heartburn and getting by on less than three hours sleep a… Read more »

Varadkar Just Fucking With DUP These Days

A PRESS release by Taoiseach Leo Varadkar has confirmed what many had already believed; that the Fine Gael leader is just ‘fucking around’ with Arlene Foster and the DUP at this stage, just to see the look on their faces change. The announcement comes following Varadkar’s decision to open this year’s Feile An Phobail festival,… Read more »

Stormont To Start Letting Rooms Out On Airbnb

KEEN to avoid any accusations that they’re wasting public resources, the remaining shards of the Northern Assembly have put a number of rooms in Stormont up on accommodation-sharing website Airbnb, in a bid to ‘make a few quid’. With the vast majority of the rooms in the east Belfast castle lying idle since the collapse… Read more »

“I Fucking Hated Irish My Whole Life, But I’m Fucked If The DUP Are Taking It Away”

“IF those bastards think they’re taking away the language that got me into more trouble in school than anything else, then they’ve another thing coming,” was the general consensus of every red-blooded Irishman in Ireland today, still seething at the collapse of talks between Sinn Féin and the DUP in Stormont last week. “I may curse… Read more »

Fucking Wagon

A CROSS COMMUNITY poll conducted in Northern Ireland in the wake of the collapsed Stormont talks has returned a 100% vote of ‘fucking wagon’ placed beneath a picture of DUP leader Arlene Foster, despite a polling company not providing such a possible answer, WWN can reveal. With stumbling blocks in tense talks including an Irish… Read more »