Tag: dup

DUP Won’t Nominate Deputy First Minister Unless British Government Buys Them Pony

SENDING SHOCKWAVES through the political world, DUP leader Jeffrey Donaldson has suggested the unthinkable: his party will bring down the Stormont before it even has a chance to form because it’s not happy that the Northern Ireland protocol, which his party made inevitable through its advocating for Brexit, still exists. “We won’t nominate a deputy… Read more »

Here Are The DUP’s Last Minute Election Promises

FACING the risk of Sinn Féin becoming the largest party after the Assembly elections on the 5th of May, a desperate DUP leader Jeffrey Donaldson has begun making huge vote-swaying pledges and promises in a bid to coax people into voting for his beleaguered party. Responding to an election which has been dominated by cost… Read more »

DUP Gonna DUP

EDWIN Poots has channelled the fury of his boyhood hero Ian Paisley in an uplifting, emotional speech in which he pledges that he is going to do his utmost to ensure the DUP will continue to DUP as hard as they can, from now until ‘the rapture of the Lord’. There had been fears among… Read more »

Ulster Says ‘What The Fuck?’

THE DUP’s staunch, long-running ‘Ulster Says No’ stance on everything is currently undergoing a bit of a rethink, following one of the most turbulent months in the party’s storied history. “‘Ulster says yes to things but then says no when we really find out what they were’ doesn’t really have much of as ring to… Read more »

The Next DUP Leader? We Look At The Candidates

AS the DUP wave goodbye to Arlene Foster, party members are looking toward the future and who will take up the mantle of saying ‘no’ to every effort to help Northern Ireland progress and prosper in any way. Here are the candidates: Edwin Poots The early favourite, Poots is favoured by DUP members on his… Read more »

DUP Not Sure Foster Hateful Enough To Lead Party

DESPITE insisting to party members that things would get much, much, much worse if they’d just give her another chance, it appears Arlene Foster’s days as DUP leader could be over. As rumours persist that a majority of party members have passed a motion of no confidence in Foster as leader at a meeting held… Read more »

Archaeologists Discover Rare Fostersaurus Fossil In Northern Ireland

NORTHERN Ireland archaeologists have discovered what they believe to be a rare Fostersaurus during a routine dig this week, proving the existence of the ferocious meat-eating dinosaur over 117 million years ago. Believed to be one of the only dinosaurs that walked backwards, palaeontologists discovered that the Fostersaurus also ate itself on occasions when cornered… Read more »

A Day In The Life Of The DUP

The DUP is not a monolithic party defined by simple ideological stances or rank hypocrisies, in a bid to get know the party better and dispel the myths, WWN spent a day in their company. In order to better understand what it’s like to be in the DUP I was required to first put on… Read more »