Category: Rugby

Rugby Fan To Spend Day Coming Down Off Grand Slam Win, Cocaine

WHILE the nation has been filled with wholesome images of the people gleefully celebrating Ireland’s 6 Nations grand slam victory while getting misty eyed at the sight of Johnny Sexton experiencing human emotion, one Dublin office worker has labeled organisers of the tournament a ‘disgrace’ and ‘irresponsible’. “Setting this up on Paddy’s weekend was a… Read more »

A&E Treating Hundreds Of Middle Aged Men For ‘Recreating Lowe Try’ Related Injuries

MEDICAL professionals throughout Ireland are reporting an epidemic of injuries ranging from pulled calf muscles to broken necks as middle aged men try in vain to recreate James Lowe’s acrobatic try against France. “I didn’t know you could fracture, dislocate and sprain your coxis at the time,” said one 53-year-old covered head to toe in… Read more »

This Theoretical Mathematician Explains How Ireland Could Win 6 Nations This Weekend

“BARE WITH me another second,” said a lost looking professor of mathematics Laurence Wright, standing before a white board overwhelmed by calculations and permutations that all reached a dead end, failing to explain how exactly Ireland’s game in France could see the men in green lift the 6 Nations championship. “If we take England’s potential… Read more »

Nation Agrees Not To Mention The Rugby

THE USUAL small talk engaged with by the Irish public when queuing in the post office, dropping the kids off to school, chatting with coworkers, snorting lines in the toilets and waving hello to neighbours is to be devoid of any mention of Ireland’s 24-12 loss to England at Twickenham yesterday, an emergency meeting of… Read more »