A&E Treating Hundreds Of Middle Aged Men For ‘Recreating Lowe Try’ Related Injuries
MEDICAL professionals throughout Ireland are reporting an epidemic of injuries ranging from pulled calf muscles to broken necks as middle aged men try in vain to recreate James Lowe’s acrobatic try against France.
“I didn’t know you could fracture, dislocate and sprain your coxis at the time,” said one 53-year-old covered head to toe in bandages, after trying to dispose of a pint of milk into the bin in the already iconic Lowe fashion.
With Irish hospitals already in a constant state of ‘almost collapsing’ healthcare workers have said that they have struggled to deal with the influx of middle aged men who found out how unfit and inflexible they are the hard way.
“We’ve set up tents outside to deal with patient overflow. I don’t know what got into them, there’s a man here with a shattered pelvis who last tried exercising in 2003,” shared a frustrated nurse, dealing with an endless flow of overexcited men.
“Him – professional athlete at the peak of his powers. You – makes a big groan sound every time you bend at the knees,” said one physio to a client now on crutches, who fractured their spine in 143 places after trying to recreate the try for a friend who hadn’t seen the rugby and didn’t particularly care either.
A knock-on effect of middle aged rugby fans taking up space in hospitals is an uptick in patient complaints about hospital parking, quality of the coffee, queries as to if this is what I pay my taxes for and requests for Newstalk to be blared through hospital speakers.