Seems Unfair To Make Countries Play Rest Of Tournament When Ireland Already The Winners

“IS TODAY a good time to pick up the Webb Ellis trophy? Sorry, this is our first time winning so we’re not sure how this all works” confirmed Ireland, still basking in the Pool B victory against South Africa, which has rightly led Irish fans to conclude winning the tournament is now a foregone conclusion.

“When we didn’t hear from you on Sunday we said ‘fair enough’ it’s the weekend, but no email or call on Monday? Look, we’ll pay the shipping costs to get it back to Ireland,” continued Ireland, a little irritated tournament organisers hadn’t been in touch.

The source of irritation comes from a place of genuine concern though as Irish fans feel simply awful about the fact other teams could be forced to play out the remaining games, playing under the false hope that they have a chance at victory.

“Should we tell them? Ugh, this will be très awkward,” mused Irish fans, their hearts breaking for other nations who clearly hadn’t heard yet that Ireland have basically won the World Cup an unprecedented 34 days ahead of the final.

“It’s more the fact there’s fans from New Zealand flying out, spending their hard earned money and they don’t realise it’s all done and dusted. That’s who I’m thinking of, poor lambs” confirmed one fan who hasn’t left the pub since Ireland crowned themselves world champions at the final whistle in Paris on Saturday.

“Scotland? A quarter final? No, we’ve won it. Sure, if that wasn’t the case then my ‘World Cup winners 2023’ face tattoo could end up looking ridiculous and premature!” added another fan of World Cup 2023 champions Ireland.