-
“You’re Losing It, J” Paxman Tells Mirror
SUBJECTING his reflection to a constant stream of interruptions, broadcaster Jeremy Paxman grilled himself, repeatedly pressing the face staring back ... -
America Changes Locks On White House Doors While Trump Is Away
CAPITALISING on President Donald Trump’s first trip abroad since becoming leader of his country in January, the American public hastily ... -
Hubble Telescope Beams Back First Picture Of Your Ma
THERE were exciting scenes in NASA this morning after the Hubble telescope beamed back images of the largest mass in ... -
Need Cheering Up? Have You Tried Hurting The Feelings Of A Loved One?
WELCOME to the wonderfully irritable world of the working week. That bastard of a week that seems like it’ll never ... -
“The Power Of Christ Compels You” Screams The Pope After Tackling Trump To The Ground
REPORTS emanating from the Vatican this morning contrast greatly with the official accounts of US President Donald Trump’s first meeting ... -
ISIS To Present Katie Hopkins With ‘Recruiter Of The Month’ Award
KEEN to honour the contribution she has made to the fresh recruitment drive currently undertaken by ISIS, the heinous and ... -
Melania Trump Sneaks Off In Burka, Never To Be Seen Again
A HUNT is going on for the First Lady of the United States Melania Trump, after she absconded from a ... -
Fidget Spinner Bubble Could Collapse At Any Minute, Economists Warn
THE Department of Finance has dismissed as ‘nonsense’ a report which suggests that the Fidget Spinner boom could be nearing ... -
“Stop Fighting” – Ingenious Trump Solves Israel Palestine Conflict
A VISIONARY TEMPLATE for peace in the Middle East was unveiled by US President Donald Trump moments after he arrived ... -
Liam Neeson Officially Enters ‘I Don’t Give A Shit Anymore’ Phase Of Career
HOLLYWOOD legend Liam Neeson has officially confirmed that after a spate of action movies he has fully committed to the ...