AS part of WWNs opinion series, we give a platform to those who don’t really deserve it. This week is the turn of age old virus, the seasonal flu, who for the first time since the coronavirus lockdown breaks its silence on the world’s latest pandemic. Oh, it’s all coronavirus this, covid-19 that, and of… Read more »
A CONDITION long swept under the carpet by Ireland, owing to the difficult questions that arise, the finger pointing and the recriminations. However, now, for the first time people are coming forward and going public their struggles of living with BIHS or Big Irish Head Syndrome. “I was on a meditation retreat in Tibet on… Read more »
THE FAMILY of a normally staunch anti-Fine Gael man have spoken out after he tested positive for a number of pro-Varakar thoughts in recent days, warning others to keep an eye out for similar symptoms. “It started out with the odd positive comment or two, before he broke out into nonstop feverish praise, but the… Read more »
CONCERNED about Coronavirus? Maybe you shouldn’t be; new research by a Waterford man suggests that the majority of the country may have ‘already had’ the dreaded virus, and as such they’re now 100% fine and worried about nothing. Garreth Hanlon, who has confirmed that he survived a ‘bad dose’ of the Coronavirus back in November… Read more »
FOLLOWING several long haul flights to and from China to secure vital personal protection equipment (PPE) for health workers on the front line, embarrassed officials have confirmed the entirety of the incoming shipments to be made up of sexy nurse uniforms, usually worn by women to Halloween parties. Making the best of a bad situation,… Read more »
SCIENTISTS are investigating a possible side effect of Coronavirus infection spread after startling data from Irish A&E departments show a stark drop in the number of avoidable drink-fueled injuries, minor complaints and non-life threatening illnesses, WWN can report. Casualty departments across Ireland are showing almost zero waiting lists for the first time in nearly 250… Read more »
ALTHOUGH agreeing that your declaration that 2020 was ‘your year’ was a noble one, the World Health Organisation has stated that the current Coronavirus crisis has probably put the clamps on your plans to remain drug and alcohol free, as well as any notion that you might ‘run the marathon’ as well. Hundreds of thousands… Read more »
AS AUTHORITIES note that large swathes of the country seem to be struggling with the idea of social distancing and self-isolation or outright ignoring the concepts, Ireland has released its most potent weapon against unnecessary journeys. Strapped atop of a vehicle, megaphone glued to hand and charged with roaming the streets to plead for complete… Read more »
A SPOKESPERSON for co-habiting couples around the world has said that precautionary self-isolation action needed to stave off the spread of Covid-19 could result in a cataclysmic rise in divorce rates if couples are forced to spend two solid weeks of uninterrupted exposure to their partners in a confined setting. “Please, oh God, there’s got… Read more »
WITH TAOISEACH Leo Varadkar confirming the need to temporarily close schools, creches and colleges along with guidelines on limiting public gatherings and events to limit Covid-19 spread, the Irish people have come together as one and officially agreed to raise Ireland’s emergency preparedness levels above “sure it’ll be grand” for the first time in its… Read more »