OFFERING an ‘our bad’ in the form of a shrug of the shoulders, serving and retired politicians have conceded that now the health service is weeks away from a potential collapse they are beginning to regret ignoring warnings stretching back over a decade.
“Actually it is the fault of the young people putting the UK strain on the guest list at their parties in Direct Provision meat factory schools,” conceded a contrite former government minister, fully accepting his part in the HSE’s well documented fragility.
“Oh c’mon, so I was supposed to foresee a global pandemic and magic up a solution?” retorted one TD, who spent the last decade insinuating nurses and doctors leaving Ireland for better pay and working conditions were unpatriotic money grabbers.
The Minister for Health Simon Donnelly has asked those worried about rising case numbers to turn the graph upside down instead, while elsewhere public health doctors have called off a planned strike.
“After years of being ignored by governments we had called the strike to highlight the dire state of the public health system but due to the dire state of the public health system we’ve had to call it off,” confirmed one doctor during the only five seconds to spare they will have for the next couple of months.
Announcing additional resources for An Post, the government confirmed it could now successfully hand deliver the share of the blame for this to everyone in the country.
“We all partied,” confirmed the Fianna Fáil led coalition as it steadfastly refused to take its share of the blame from the Dáil post man.