MINISTER For Health Stephen Donnelly was said to be ecstatic this morning at the fact that he was the number one trend on Twitter in Ireland all night, a sure sign that he’s doing a great job with his ministerial brief and everything is ‘coming up Donnelly’. “Trending all night, even with the big storm;… Read more »
DESPITE having suffered the seasonal slings of pollen-based nasal misfortune for the past 20 years, there was something about the grind of 2020 so far that made Waterford hay fever sufferer Mal O’Connell think that he’d get through this summer sniffle free, WWN can report. “It was the whole Covid-19 thing, to be honest” said… Read more »
IN AN attempt to reflect the fact that Ireland will be living with Covid-19 for some time to come, the government revealed that it will be moving away from a ‘four phases’ model and adopting a colour-coded system which it promises to botch the explanation of very soon. “Fear not, the details will be suitably… Read more »
EMBRACING each other while crying tears of joy; US based scientists are celebrating the news the world was desperate to hear ever since Covid-19 emerged in the Wuhan province of China late last year. For the first time since February 2020 scientists have observed mutations in conversations had by humans which contain zero trace or… Read more »
A SIGNIFICANT sigh of relief was emitted by those in Ireland who, fearing the worst, thought for the briefest moment the rise in Covid-19 cases might have been affecting important people like the middle class. With clusters reported among low paid workers, Direct Provision residents and the Travelling Community, the tension felt by genuinely important… Read more »
THE TAOISEACH made the reluctant decision to delay the reopening of pubs for at least another 3 weeks, prompting auld lads at the end of bars to spontaneously combust from blind rage. But with Covid-19 cases on the rise here and elsewhere, many believe there are only easy, simple and obvious measures to put in… Read more »
THE HSE’s timely advice for sexually active people during the pandemic has been met with harsh criticism by 76-year-old WWN correspondent Augustine O’Partland, who composed the following announcement on the subject. “I know I say this at least twice a day lately, but have you ever seen such codology in all your life? You’d swear… Read more »
AN INGENIOUS system used by farmers to protect their sheep against infestation from external parasites is to be adopted on a trial basis in rural Ireland in a bid to ward off Covid-19 infection spread among school children. Sheep dipping troughs are to be installed in over 200 Primary Schools nationwide before September and is… Read more »
WITH IRISH gyms reopening, many fitness fanatics were unsure if their gym would be a safe place to workout. Well, WWN is sad to report, that gym lovers have their answer in the tragic case of one Waterford man, Darren Carmody. Following his new gym’s health and safety protocols to the letter of the law… Read more »
LOCAL Covid-19 scofflaw Miles O’Hannon is still free from Coronavirus despite adhering to none of the precautionary measures or regulations laid out by the government, much to the chagrin of his ‘goody two-shoes’ neighbours and friends. O’Hannon, 35, tackled Coronavirus with an ‘it’s all a load of shite’ approach that many believed would surely come… Read more »