Single-Shot Janssen Vaccine Under Fire For Only Allowing For One Opportunity To Ring In Sick


A GOVERNMENT watchdog is being set up to monitor anyone in the 18-35 year cohort that attempts to claim two sick days off due to vaccination side effects if they’ve received the single-dose Janssen jab, WWN can report.

In many instances younger employees have been dialing up to say that they’re ‘wiped out’ with flu like symptoms following their vaccine, and then attempting to swing another sick day weeks later; a trick that they learned from their older co-workers.

“I myself got the two Pfizer doses, with two days off after each because I managed to rack up every adverse side-effect going, if you get me” smiled Waterford project manager Darren Hirst, who currently has nine soon-to-be-fired staff members who are totally taking the piss.

“That’s how I know a worker pulling a sicky when I see one, particularly when I know these young pups are getting the single dose. ‘My arm is sore after my second injection’; well I hope it heals in time for you to sign on, kid”.

Along with reports of 100 out of 13 million Janssen shots in the US being linked to a rare neurological condition known as Guillain-Barre syndrome, the ‘one day off’ nature of the single dose is among the most pressing concern in young people when it comes to Covid today.

“I’m not scared of long Covid, I’m not scared of an adverse reaction to a jab; I’m just angry that I only get one day to stay home and do nothing all day” said one youth we spoke to, who spent the entirety of lockdown doing just that.