Children With Scoliosis Told Best Chance For Operation Is To Appear On Toy Show & Beg

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THE MORE than 200 children with scoliosis and in desperate need of surgery have been informed that their best hope of securing an operation would be by going on the Late Late Toy Show next year.

“Heartbroken parents will feel appealing directly to the government, the minister for health, pleading for some humanity and to do something for children in agony would be enough, but if we’ve learned anything in order for change in Ireland you probably need a captive audience about about 1.5 million people,” confirmed one expert in deliberate government inaction.

Despite next year’s Toy Show not happening for another 12 months, such is the length of the current waiting lists a scene stealing appearance on the annual show, which leaves audiences sobbing and enraged at the shabby treatment of children, remains the best chance at securing the attention required to strong arm the government into acting.

“Sorry but simply asking the government to solve this is kind of thing pointless, we’ve done a pretty incredible job grinding the public down into just accepting third world care in a first world country, so we’ll only be guilted into acting if you get Tubridy all misty eyed on the last Friday in November,” explained a government spokesperson pointing in the direction of RTÉ Toy Show application process.

“But once you’re on there you’re sorted, we’ll go through the usual routine then of the very TDs who sat on their arse and did nothing to help you tweet about how amazing you are. It’s not a fair process but that’s Ireland baby,” confirmed the spokesperson.

If you don’t have scoliosis and don’t want a ticket to the Toy Show you can contact the minister for health HERE.

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