France Aiming To Pip America To Title Of Most Divided Nation

POLICE BRUTALITY, a crackdown on the Muslim population all wrapped up in rhetoric that calls for a return of the good old days when French ‘Laicité’ truly existed, Emmanuel Macron has left it late in the year to attempt to steal the crown of most divided western nation from America, but some critics argue it might just be possible.

“If we watch the replay here, you’d think America had this all sewn up but then out of nowhere, Macron storms in with his ‘let’s issue serial numbers to all Muslim children’ and making it illegal for the public to film police and, by God, France might win it,” confirmed startled commemtators watching the action.

“We’ll need another replay to see if the mass protests opposing restricting the freedoms have the same divisive energy as the ones seen in America earlier this year, but the French are running them close John,” confirmed one enthusiastic co-commentator who spoke exclusively in sporting cliches.

“We’re literally in injury time here; we’ve got a journalist assaulted by police and a black music producer beaten to a pulp in the confines of his studio by police, this is incredible I’ve never seen this before, a country coming out of nowhere late in the day to potentially snatch the crown,” added the commentator.

A zealous secularism obsessed with restricting one particular religion before others, Interior Minister Darmanin stating journalists should clear their reporting of protests with police first before publishing, and someone somewhere always giving out about the Algerians, it’s easy to see why nervous Americans fear their crown as the most worrying powder keg about to blow may be taken away from them.

“And I don’t believe it, here come the yellow vests John, you can never count the French out, what a comeback!”