Brian Stanley Ordered To Put A Euro In The RA Jar

SINN Féin have assured the media, the government and the public that they’re taking the Brian Stanley Twitter controversy seriously, and will make sure the Laois-Offaly TD will think twice about glorifying IRA violence the next time.

“Brian knows the deal; any time you say ‘up the ra’ or make a statement that is up-the-ra-ish in nature, you put a euro in the Ra jar” said party leader Mary Lou McDonald, pointing to a tall Maxwell House coffee jar overflowing with coins and paper money with the words ‘Ra jar’ written on a post-it note stuck to the front.

“From our TDs to our councillors to our boots-on-the-ground workers, we all have to pay if we ‘say the quiet part loud’, if you get me. It’s a euro per Ra down south, and a pound sterling per Ra up north”.

Stanley’s fine comes following his tweet about the Kilmichael and Narrow Water massacres which claimed a total of 35 lives, with calls coming from all angles for him to be removed from the party by means of trebuchet; something McDonald has stated will not be happening.

“Should Brian drop another hard R in public again, he’ll have to put two euro int he jar and so on; that’s how we handle our business around here” explained McDonald, who would not be drawn on whether or not money paid into the Ra jar could be claimed back as a TD expense.

McDonald went on to explain that at the end of each year the Ra jar money is donated to the DUP, as an extra incentive for party members to keep their ra-ing to a minimum.