Irish People Abroad Politely Reminded Not To Make A Holy Show Of Us


PROMPTED to issue a periodic reminder by the news of six Irish men, some wearing shorts and t-shirts, having to be rescued from Sweden’s highest mountain Kebnekaise, the nation is reminding all Irish abroad to ‘cop on’.

“Be you on Erasmus, J1, working via, long-term resident or training Central American dissidents in the art of guerilla warfare, the advice remains the same; don’t you dare think about bringing shame upon us lot back home with your eejitry,” said the Irish dwelling portion of Irish people, who have never ever done anything to cause embarrassment for those ex-pats abroad.

“Also, glad to hear you’re alright”.

Every year, a considerable portion of ex-pats bring great pride to the nation by inventing a life saving drug, being pictured at a sporting event wearing a GAA jersey or diversifying the gene pool by marrying an attractive foreigner, however, these moments are dwarfed by the 144,567 incidents of secondhand embarrassment and mortification.

“Irish criminals abroad – if you’re robbing a bank, please put on a Brit accent or something and Jesus, don’t get caught, this is basic stuff. We’ve enough shite to be dealing with back home,” the statement added.

Elsewhere, Ireland has said ‘don’t get us started’ on all those 14th-generation immigrants with Irish sounding surnames currently on Fox News in America maintaining it is their constitutional right to die of Covid.