Government Cracks It With Innovative ‘Indoor Dining In Classrooms’ Plan


CONCERNS that the government would be unable to please all people when it comes to indoor dining while also not making it apparent that they’re winging it have been eased by a foolproof new plan that will allow families of all ages to enjoy meals out together very soon.

“As established during the year, school classrooms offer a foolproof immunity from the transmission of COVID-19” beamed an overjoyed spokesperson for the government, who has feared the return to indoor dining was going to be a tricky one.

“So instead of jumping through the mental hoops of how a family with unvaccinated kids could safely eat a family meal deal in their local TGI Fridays without any logic gaps, we’re just going to shift all restaurants to their nearest primary and secondary school. I hope everyone’s ready to eat chicken wings while sitting at tiny-ass tables!”.

Further scrutiny of the plan revealed nothing but gold, as it transpired that rather than using unvaccinated staff to serve customers, schoolteachers on annual leave would be drafted in to wait tables in a safe, foolproof manner.

“Wow, they really have thought of everything with this one” admitted even the harshest of sceptics, all of whom were more than willing to turn a blind eye to a a few flaws if it means getting back to a world where all-you-can-eat ribs is a thing.

Although the school dining plans have a definite end date when kids return to class in September, the government are once again confident that everyone will be vaccinated and all this pandemic craic will have blown over by then.