Reasons Why Sinn Féin Have Lost Support In The Polls

WITH A RECENT poll taken ahead of the upcoming EU elections suggesting Sinn Féin have suffered a dip in support, a number of political commentators in the media have provided their theories for why voters are turning away from the Republican party:

Stockholm syndrome is a very real and serious psychological condition.

An almost 11% drop from peak support is clearly because Simon Harris is a charisma canon, spraying his charm all over the Irish public.

Dublin woman Tríona Hayes swore off voting for Sinn Féin after Mary Lou McDonald beat her to the last scone in her local Aldi.

Rural independents are hoovering up the ‘fecking foreigners!’ vote.

Some voters could never stomach voting for a party with IRA links hence the 5% rise in Aontu, a party led by a former Sin Fein member.

Willie O’Dea agreed to finally shave his moustache if people vote for Fianna Fáil.

Sinn Féin’s tiocfaidh now has 30% less ár lá than at its height.

Turns out the public doesn’t like it when TDs from the main opposition party, who claim to be able to solve the housing supply issue, keep objecting to homes being built in their own constituencies.

Young Waterford voter Alan Tealon retracted his support after he discovered something called ‘the IRA’ during a routine browse of Wikipedia.

Gerry Adams hasn’t done anything meme worthy recently.

People like to lie when answering poll company questionnaires just to fuck with them.

The recent solar eclipse was one giant Men In Black memory wipe and it set time itself back to 2011.

Their long-running ‘vote in the 26 counties, get 6 counties free’ promotion recently ended.

Sinn Féin’s u-turn on immigration hasn’t turned quickly enough.