THE HSE is to team with a number of dating apps and sites, including Tinder, in a bid to allow users to elevate their desperate pleas for human contact to a higher never before reached plain of cringy, WWN can reveal.
“Yeah you can post little ‘I got the vaccine’ or ‘vaccines saves lives’ badges now, as if your profile wasn’t already pathetic enough” a joint HSE/Tinder spokesperson said.
“Sure, pictures of you with a dog and saying ‘does anyone even talk on this thing anymore’ were bad enough, but we felt there was room to disimprove and really make you feel even worse about your attempts to get the ride,” added the spokesperson.
The move works both ways, in that the second hand embarrassment potential matches feel for you also makes the soul eroding quest for someone to bump uglies with that bit more depressing for them as well.
Other special badges being considered by the HSE and Tinder for profiles include ‘STD free’, ‘doesn’t ask to do anal after a few pints’ and ‘has previously done more ghosting than a Casper movie marathon’.
While research in this field is in its infancy it is believed Covid is somewhere down the bottom of the list of things people have caught from their dating app matches.
Terms and conditions on the apps have changed as a result of the partnership with the HSE to reflect the fact that the vaccines can’t improve your chances of getting the ride and ending a spell so dry the Sahara desert feels sorry for you.
We appreciate all the help we can get, become a WWN Patreon Supporter below and gain access to bonus content.Become a Patron!