Tag: food

Restuarant Not Doing Take Aways Anymore, Fuck Off

AFTER months of pleading to loyal customers to give them a dig out during some of the longest business shutdowns in world history, local restaurant The Lamb’s Leg has decided it will no longer cater for home deliveries anymore and to please fuck off asking as they’re too busy with real customers now, thanks. Forced… Read more »

New Outdoor Dining Rules Revealed

AHEAD of a return to outdoor dining for pubs, cafes and restaurants the government revealed the full range of rules and stipulations which have been met with universal approval from all affected parties, as predicted. WWN can reproduce the rules for dining below in full below: 6 people per table with a maximum combined height… Read more »

Army Sent In To Cull Coffee Vans As Herd Grows Too Big

HAVING reached a dangerous tipping point according to local ecologists, authorities have been left with no choice other than to bring in army snipers to cull the nation’s out of control coffee van herd. Growing at what has been described as an exponential rate over the last year, coffee vans are an invasive species changing… Read more »