Starbucks Unveil Potato Frappuccino To Commemorate Famine

EAGER to fill the gap between Pumpkin Spice season and the Christmas ‘red cup’ campaign, coffee giants Starbucks are to roll out a delightful range of potato-based drinks dubbed ‘faminccinos’ to the Irish market later this year.

“Now we will admit, there are no actual potatoes in a Potato Latte. But we feel this is very much in keeping with the spirit of the famine” beamed a spokesperson for Starbucks Ireland, unveiling the new drinks today.

“Some say it’s offensive to Irish people, but we saw how many of you bought the Shamrock Shakes that McDonalds come out with for Patrick’s day, and those things are absolute leprechaun piss. So we figured we’d get enough ‘curiosity buys’ to warrant this”.

Served in plain brown cups with a black cardboard sleeve to represent a mourning armband, the drinks will be available in both caffeinated and ‘de-coffinated’, and retail at just 7 euro each.

“We’ve brought on a load of influencers to push this out to our audience, using a social media craze called ‘famining’,” our source said.

“Basically good looking people lying around looking like they can’t move for hunger, with our Faminccino cups in shot. Use the hashtag ‘Famished for coffee’ when posting on Insta people, that’d really help keep our product awareness nice and high”.

Starbucks also explained the release of the product in November instead of the more natural fit of St. Patrick’s day, stating that they need to leave that time free for their ‘Eater Rising is easier when you’ve got a coffee in you’ range.