Laura Murray’s Top Rides Of The Year


AS THE year draws to a close and we welcome 2021, definitive lists ranking the great cultural and historical moments of our time are everywhere.

Indeed, people are moving to rank their own personal milestones and Waterford’s Laura Murray is no different. Getting a little nostalgia and misty-eyed, St. Nora Barnacle’s Primary School vice-principal speaks exclusively to WWN about her last 12 months of riding and looks back on the highlights.

Laura’s current partner Eoin Bollins will be a disappointed not to make the top 5, but the nature of these lists always means someone will disagree with the rankings and choices made. Not to worry, Eoin, 2021 could be different.

In at no. 5 is Ger Cassidy, an electrician from Cabra, Dublin.

Laura: “It was like Niagra Falls down there, not me now, I’m talking about Powerscourt waterfall, me and Ger, the sort-of boyfriend I had at the start of the year, we went there for the afternoon.

The weather was dreadful, that combined with the wind really gave the waterfall a powerful swell, bursting forth in torrents and I suppose that ‘unlocked’ something in both of us, and we climbed up a tree out of the view of the other walkers and just tore at each other like animals. Magic”.

In at no. 4 it’s Terry Higgins’ older brother, you know, your man who managed the bank until he was caught stealing. In jail now.

Laura: “Jesus, this takes me back. Must have been early January before lockdown was even a thing. Yeah, Terry’s older brother, his name will come to me in a second… no, not getting it, but anyway, we were all at a party and sure the width of shoulders, ya know. A man’s man.

I was like a leaky tap just looking at him, and the knees nearly went from under me when himself and the lads started punching the wall to see who was the strongest, ya know, in that utterly pathetic macho way they think will impress women. Well, they were right – it does.

Anyway, you know it’s true what they say; the thick ones are the best at it. I don’t mean he was thick down there, I just mean he was awful, awful stupid, but took direction well”.

In at no. 3, a surprise celebrity entry with Marty Whelan.

Laura: “I don’t have to explain myself to you. It was Coppers. It was New Year’s eve. There was magic in the air. And if you’re talking to Jessica O’Reilly, and she says it wasn’t him, she’s a lying bitch. It was him.”

In at no. 2, her bastard on-again, off-again ex, Cormac.

“He’ll have a head on him the size of Waterford now, the prick. The ego on him. But suppose these lists have to have some integrity to them and it’d be wrong of me to just leave him out on account of the fact he cheated on me more times than I’ve had hot dinners.

Lanzarote, in February. The sun was coming down, our apartment was drowned in this beautiful auburn glow. But the heat was still mighty. He’d the rose petals on the bed for me and you know, when we were entangled in one another, just holding each other, not knowing who’s sweat was who’s – those were the most intimate 23 seconds of my life.”

In at no. 1, it’s a real turn up for the books…:

Laura: “Had a nightmare of a week in work, stressed to my eyeballs, but I had the house to myself as the housemates at the time were all off out. Everyone was banging on about Normal People. I’d had a bottle of wine, drew myself a bath. So it was me, picturing Normal sexy People, my imagination, the shower head on its most generous setting and a bath bomb. Sometimes you’ve just got to do things yourself. I don’t care if you say it doesn’t count as a ‘ride’ I still think about it at least once a week… and… sorry, I just need a moment”.