Local Man Unlikely To Do As Much Fingering At New Trip To Tipp

WITH a heavy heart, Waterford man Brian Meno has admitted to himself that although the upcoming ‘Feile Classical’ concert in Semple Stadium will be a fun, nostalgic day out with friends he hasn’t seen in years, it is increasingly unlikely that he will do quite as much finger sex with 19-year-old girls that he did when he last went on the ‘Trip To Tipp’.

Tickets for “Ireland’s Woodstock” reunion festival were snapped up by Irish revellers who may or may not have revelled since the last iconic concert in Tipperary over 20 years ago, with this year’s line-up mirroring the iconic 1990 programme of Something Happens, Hothouse Flowers, and the four remaining members of The Four Of Us.

With fond but increasingly vague memories of a great time as a horny drunken teenager on the streets of Thurles in the early nineties, the now 43-year-old Meno admits that his fingering days may be behind him, but he still intends to get drunk and miss 90% of the show.

“It was the first time I ever had my hand down a girls pants in full view of thousands of people,” said Meno, who today frowns when he sees inappropriate pictures of young people engaging in sexual activity at concerts on social media.

“Sure it was great craic, and it set the template for the next ten or fifteen years: go to a concert, or indeed any outing. GAA match, wedding, whatever. Get as drunk as possible as fast as possible, do a hands down the pants dance exchange programme with any girl that was willing to be slobbered over, get in a fight with a load of lads from Galway, wake up at home. Now the gang is all in their forties with jobs and families, so we’re a bit more civilised. But regardless, we’ll all be at the new Feile, puking up our nine euro chicken burgers around about the time Parachute comes on”.

Tickets for the event are still available, at a comically higher price that the ones you bought in 1997.