Local Man Hasn’t Watched A Decent Football Match In Ages


DESPITE averaging over 8 live games a week, local man Kevin Blaney expressed frustration at the fact he hasn’t watched a decent match in ages, WWN can confirm.

Left scarred after settling down to watch a number of high profile games hyped by TV broadcasters this season only to see a boring 0-0 draw play out, Blaney cursed the game he once so loved.

“The Spurs game last night was shite,” confirmed the Manchester United fan, “and it would have been great to see Bournemouth thrash Chelsea, I love a good underdog victory but it was on at the same bloody time. You’d get a better standard in Sunday league,” he added of the sport which has never been played at a faster speed.

Blaney denied his ability to enjoy games was hindered by the fact he becomes easily distracted by constantly checking the scores from other games and watching goals from other games on his phone shortly after they occur, or by just generally browsing the internet.

“Look if you’re watching 8, 9, 10 games a week, it’s not much to ask that the standard of these professional so-called ‘world class’ teams results in 7 or 8 goals in every game, the players are paid enough,” explained Blaney who also sometimes watches two matches at once, one on his TV and one on his iPad.

The thrilling victory Liverpool recently secured against a peerless Man City side which included 7 goals was dismissed by Blaney as he ‘was only half watching it’ and ‘that was ages ago’.

Acknowledging his reservations about his potential enjoyment of future football matches, Blaney still confirmed his intention to watch Burnley v Machester City, Manchester Utd v Huddersfield, Arsenal v Everton, Crystal Palace v Newcastle, Tottenham v Liverpool and Watford v Chelsea over the weekend.

“It was much better back in my day,” confirmed the 25-year-old.