News Of National Broadband Plan Delay Still Loading On Rural Man’s Phone

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NEWS of Eir’s decision to withdraw from the tendering process to roll out Ireland’s broadband network is set to irritate one rural based Waterford man once his home internet finishes loading the headline on his phone.

It is believed that in about 7 hours when the article is fully loaded, 41-year-old rural dweller Colm Canney will be angered to learn the full details of the government’s handling of the tendering process, which could see the programme further delayed.

“Oh, it says here ‘Rural Broadband’ something or another, hopefully it’s good news,” Canney said as he patiently waited for the one megabyte of data to load on his phone via his broadband internet router which promised speeds of more than zero some 5 years ago.

“Ah I know I give out stink about how shite the government have been on this issue, but maybe I’ve got it all wrong. Wow, fair play to them, they really pulled it out of the bag,” Canney said as he operated in a broadband free world, void of fast speed access to news on media outlet websites.

Criticised for an overly complex tendering and application process the government is now left with just one company still engaged in the process, which will really piss off Canney whenever he learns of it.

“You know what, I’m not waiting. I can’t wait for the good news, think I’ll get in the car and drive to my brother’s house in Dublin and sign into his wifi there to finish reading this one,” Canney concluded as he grabbed his car keys.

Meanwhile the government has confirmed their national broadband roll out scheme is going perfectly according to plan and shouldn’t taking longer than 10 more years than initially planned.

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