Tag: football

Haaland Given New Software Update After Liverpool Defeat

SEVERAL behind-the-scenes members of Manchester City’s technical support staff have been fired in the wake of the club’s 1-0 defeat to Liverpool after failing to update Erling Braut Haaland’s software, WWN Sports can reveal. “It’s the easiest job in the world to tick ‘yes’ to automatic updates. Should have been the first you did after… Read more »

Man Utd Fans Make Glorious Return To Social Media

THOUSANDS of delighted Man United fans made a glorious return to social networking sites today to gloat about winning their latest game of football. Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, TikTok, Bebo and parish noticeboards users were flooded by thousands of grammar agnostic posts relating to their team’s display during their home win against Liverpool at Old Trafford. “GET… Read more »

Judges In Blatter Trial Advised Not To Spend Money On Anything Flashy, Nothing That Arouses Suspicion

HAVING been found not guilty of fraud at a Swiss trial alongside Michel Platini, ex-FIFA chief Sepp Blatter gave a rambling and confused speech outside the court room. Rather than addressing the allegations and his being found not guilty, Blatter began dispensing financial advice to the judges in what many observers have praised a nice… Read more »

36-Year-Old Man Successfully Sues Samba Soccer Camp After Failing To Become Professional Footballer

EMERGING from a Dublin court this morning, Gavin Canvy has said he feels ‘vindicated’ and that ‘justice has been served’ after being awarded compensation of €20 million in lost earnings in his case against Samba Soccer camps. “Mastering the Brazilian flick was strongly advertised as the sort of era-defining earth-shattering skill that would ensure my… Read more »