SEVERAL behind-the-scenes members of Manchester City’s technical support staff have been fired in the wake of the club’s 1-0 defeat to Liverpool after failing to update Erling Braut Haaland’s software, WWN Sports can reveal. “It’s the easiest job in the world to tick ‘yes’ to automatic updates. Should have been the first you did after… Read more »
THOUSANDS of delighted Man United fans made a glorious return to social networking sites today to gloat about winning their latest game of football. Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, TikTok, Bebo and parish noticeboards users were flooded by thousands of grammar agnostic posts relating to their team’s display during their home win against Liverpool at Old Trafford. “GET… Read more »
THE presence of a multitude of clusterfucks exploding in the face of the Manchester United hierarchy has given football transfer gossip specialists in the sports media the chance to link the club with an innumerable amount of players. Such is the volume of rumoured transfers it can be hard to keep up with who the… Read more »
FANS have identified that Manchester United’s continuing misfortunes could be turned around by signing a world-class ball-playing goalkeeper to improve their abysmal start to the season, as well as attracting a wealthy member of the Saudi elite to just come and buy the whole club up in one go. “If you need our help to… Read more »
WITH the new Premier League season fast approaching Manchester United legend Roy Keane has politely asked newly installed manager Erik Ten Hag if he can have five minutes alone with his squad. “Just want to wish them well ahead of the new season. Positive affirmations, maybe a nice group selfie, lead a meditation exercise, that… Read more »
A NUMBER of football fans in England have held off condemning a Premier League player after their arrest for alleged rape lest it emerge that the as yet unnamed player is playing for their team. “Plays for the scum across the city? Easy; should be locked up for life. Football and wider society needs to… Read more »
HAVING been found not guilty of fraud at a Swiss trial alongside Michel Platini, ex-FIFA chief Sepp Blatter gave a rambling and confused speech outside the court room. Rather than addressing the allegations and his being found not guilty, Blatter began dispensing financial advice to the judges in what many observers have praised a nice… Read more »
EMERGING from a Dublin court this morning, Gavin Canvy has said he feels ‘vindicated’ and that ‘justice has been served’ after being awarded compensation of €20 million in lost earnings in his case against Samba Soccer camps. “Mastering the Brazilian flick was strongly advertised as the sort of era-defining earth-shattering skill that would ensure my… Read more »
WITH each passing season, several new minor and major scandals and wicked whispers emerge about good honest GAA men which requires local clubs to stand up and defend their man. However, in a climate change initiative the GAA is planning to save on paper, man hours and printer ink by sharing a standard template statement… Read more »
A TRIUMPHANT Ryan Giggs has decided to go out on top in the wake of guiding his Wales team to their first World Cup since 1958, WWN Sports can reveal. “It’s nice to go out on a high having singlehandedly spearheaded this qualification campaign,” said Giggs in a statement issued through Gary Neville’s The Overlap… Read more »