“Wow, 10/10, No Notes!” Emotional Pearse Doherty Gives Government’s Budget A Standing Ovation

IN WHAT IS BELIEVED to be a first for the Dáil on budget day, an opposition finance spokesperson has foregone partisan politics and simply acknowledged the good work of the government, WWN can confirm.

“Goat recognises goat, I’m in awe, this is Messi at the World Cup aura levels,” conceded Doherty in the wake of Simon Harris and Jack Chambers sharing details of Budget 2027.

It is customary for the opposition finance representatives to rip through the government and excoriate them over a multitude of failings but Doherty, a long time critic, couldn’t bring himself to get into the posturing and intense opprobrium.

“I’m literally shaking, look,” said Doherty holding up his shivering hands, “Wow, 10/10, no notes. I’m not even going to do that thing where you criticise a policy my party once suggested but now we pretend like we hate just because you are the one saying it,” added Doherty, ignoring prods from his leader Mary Lou McDonald, who was urging him to go ‘studs up’ on the government’s spending plans.

“Deferring carbon taxes yet again and pretending climate change isn’t a thing, I feel like I’m watching Michelangelo paint the Sistine Chapel here,” enthused Doherty, a solitary tear slaloming down his cheek.

Doherty then attempted to lead the Dáil in a round of applause for Harris and Chambers, which failed to take off on account of how ‘weirded out’ government TDs were by being openly praised.