A SMALL northern football club in England, recently subjected to a vile campaign from biased media, ex-pros and rivals, look set to sign an unheralded player from a country were football is a minor sport. Manchester Academical, managed by Peter Guard, spoke of their signing of striker Eric Halling as a rare bright spot for… Read more »
WITH LIVERPOOL drawing with Spurs and Man City thrashing Newcastle it’s clear the biggest story in football from this weekend is as always Manchester United’s ritualistic and sadomasochistic flagellating of themselves for the pleasure of rival fans. Losing to Brighton 4-0 could be among the most embarrassing defeats suffered by Man U in recent years,… Read more »
FOLLOWING a 1-0 defeat to Man City over two legs football fair play fenomeno Diego Simeone’s Atletico Madrid side gave a masterclass in grace, humility and acceptance. Scenes of rampant shithousery are the very last thing football fans want to see as it brings them zero joy. In order to preserve the innocent soul of… Read more »
KEEN to defend their favourite player of all time, Ronaldo fans have been quick to deny whatever he’s been accused of now, WWN Sport can confirm. “She’s a lying bitch. Sorry, force of habit. This is a phone thing? With a kid?” offered fans, in their opening rebuttal to allegations. “Well even if he did… Read more »
THERE HAS been confusion and questions in the wake of the UK government sanctioning Putin pal Roman Abramovich, requisitioning Chelsea football club. How do these sanctions affect Chelsea, can they still function as a club and will this put them on the path to bankruptcy? Find out just what Chelsea FC can and can’t do… Read more »
WITH Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich tearfully selling his beloved club in a very genuine and must-be-taken-at-face-value bid to raise much needed funding for the besieged people of Ukraine, fans of the blues are wondering; who steps up now? Currently on the market for a mere 3 billion euro, the storied London club is being eyed… Read more »
IN AN HEROIC and selfless decision, arrived at completely independently with no outside pressure, FIFA, the great bastion of moral footballing fortitude have banned Russian teams from competing in the tournament FIFA was bribed into awarding to Russia in 2018. “But we got rid of those corrupt people, that was before my time” said FIFA… Read more »
DAVID AND VICTORIA Beckham have become subject of confected outrage fueled by a knowing media for allowing their 17-year-old son Cruz to appear in a ‘weird’ photoshoot like he was some sort of vulnerable teenage girl who has been labeled the next ‘IT girl’. “If it was their daughter or any fame-adjacent girl and she… Read more »
CITING revenue generating opportunities and just straight up practicality the GAA has confirmed all future Tyrone and Armagh brawls which occasionally break into undignified scenes of football will now take place in the octagon. “Big Herb Dean would do a better job of handling the players than David Gough, that’s for sure,” offered one GAA… Read more »
MANCHESTER UNITED have reiterated their zero tolerance of any crime committed by their players, with the usual caveat that Cristiano Ronaldo remains the exception. “We honestly could feel a lot stronger about this issue, we draw the line in disappearing ink on this issue but,” confirmed a United spokesperson, who admitted the marketing pull and… Read more »