BREAKING: Neighbour Needs You To Move Your Car Because They Can’t Drive For Shit

THE neighbour across the street is currently making a hames of reversing their Nissan Micra out of their driveway because your car is parked in their field of view, WWN has learned. Making animated gestures with their hands relating to the positioning of your vehicle, while also trying to look as frustrated as possible, your neighbour has resorted to revving… Read more »

Self Service Till Supervisor Having Chat At Other End Of Store

AT any one time, the majority of self service till supervisors are having a little chat with their work colleagues at the other end of the store, a new real time survey into self service till supervisors has revealed. Right now, approximately 97% of supervisors are being hailed by the self service checkout machines as thousands of customers desperately… Read more »

​This Irish College Student Is Auctioning Off His Virginity To Pay For His Studies

AN IRISH teenager is auctioning off his virginity in a bid to pay for his college studies and claims to have already received an offer of €23.19. Fiachra Roche, 19, says he was offered the ‘four-figure sum’ after photographs of him circulated online, and that he is holding out for a more substantial offer before parting with his virginity. “Some lad called John emailed me with… Read more »

Quirky Bollocks Has A Vintage Car

A County Carlow man has today confirmed his quirky personality by purchasing a vintage car, WWN can reveal. Mark Tobin, who also wears woolly hats and leather bracelets, made the decision after seeing a similar-looking man in Dublin driving a 27-year-old Morris Minor. “I cycled to work on a high nelly for years, so when… Read more »

Facebook Set To Clampdown On Fake Drama Posts

A NEW Facebook algorithm will be rolled out shortly, aimed at keeping news feeds clear of manufactured drama, fake stories about what your kids said, and clearly fake racially-charged diatribes from weird members of your family. Mark Zuckerberg took to Twitter earlier today to state that he felt his social media network had ‘lost it’s… Read more »