“I’m Going To Screech Until Your Fucking Ears Bleed”

A NEWLY bought budgerigar has issued a stark warning to his newly found family who seem to be oblivious to the decibels he is capable of, WWN can confirm. Jimmy, who is 3-months-old, was purchased from a local based pet store as a present from parents Jack and Ann Murphy to their young children, who are expected to give the caged creature 10… Read more »

Zero Irish Historians Scrambling To Find Donald Trump Ancestry Link

BREAKING away from the regular fawning over US presidents, Irish historians and researchers have decided to simply not bother looking for an ancestral link for Donald Trump’s family to Ireland, for fear it might tarnish the nation’s reputation. Previously linking African American president Barack Obama to a distant relative in Moneygall, Offaly, Irish historian Kevin Ryan said… Read more »

Girlfriend ‘Harmonises’ To Song You’re Listening To

DESPITE no professional background in the music industry, or having no definable reason as to why she would just chime in like that, your girlfriend has rudely started ‘harmonising’ to a song you were enjoying, WWN can confirm. The track, which was up until now one of your favourites in the charts, was somehow dismantled midway… Read more »

Emergency Accommodation Rose Steals The Show

MOTHER of two Janet Hannigan wowed viewers of the ever popular Rose of Tralee festival tonight after taking to the stage dressed in a cotton bathrobe before detailing her hilarious lifestyle in a selection of Dublin’s hotels, hostels and B&Bs. Mrs Hannigan, who works as a receptionist, could barely keep her eyes open as she… Read more »

DJ Acting Like He Produced Track Himself

IN A sparsely attended late-night bar/club in Dublin’s city centre, one local DJ is throwing his hands up in the air and claiming all the credit for the popular song he just pressed play on, WWN can confirm. Acting as if he wrote, sang, played on, recorded and produced the track himself DJ Richie ‘You… Read more »