Turkey Having Time Of Her Life Right Now

A WATERFORD turkey has stated that she could ‘get used tot his kind of life’, after her third week of being richly fed and amply watered on a free range farm outside Dungarvan, adding that she ‘can’t see the good times ending’. “Maybe it’s because it’s Christmas, but they’ve really upped their game around here,”… Read more »

Inquiry Launched Into Why So Many Hairdressers Have Terrible Haircuts

A DEFINITIVE answer has been sought by authorities over the continued presence of highly questionable and routinely awful haircuts belonging to the heads of hairdressers and barbers up and down the country, WWN can reveal. The Association of Irish Hair Owners have set about conducting extensive research and interviews with the country’s hairdressers with the… Read more »

Women Call For Bigger Makeup Mirror On Car Windscreen

FEMALE humans worldwide have called on car manufacturers to increase the size of the ‘makeup mirror’ located at the centre of the windscreen, claiming that the design does not reflect the whole face and is practically useless for women. “Obviously, whatever eejit designed this was a man and had zero experience in applying makeup,” voiced motorist Donna Carey, who began an… Read more »

Fully Grown Adult Excited About Arrival Of Branded Truck

A WATERFORD man was today beside himself over the news that Coca Cola will be bringing their American style truck to Waterford city in the hopes of rekindling nostalgic memories while also enticing some cold hard sales of the popular soft drink. Immediately clicking ‘attending’ in the Coca Cola event Facebook page, Niall Kennedy rallied his two sons… Read more »

Local Alcoholic Installs Bottle Bin Outside Home

SICK to death of loading the boot of his car with bags of bottles every few days, one Waterford man has taken recycling to a whole new level by installing his own dedicated bottle bin outside his home. Self-confessed functioning alcoholic Martin Croke said the new brown bottle bin will take all the hassle and… Read more »

Common Person Under Impression He Can Like Rugby Too

A COMMON-as-fuck lower-middle class type who doesn’t live in an affluent area is for some reason under the impression that he has the right to enjoy this weekend’s rugby clash between Ireland and New Zealand as anyone else, WWN has learned. Derek Carron, 47, is looking forward to watching the match with his pals in a frightfully… Read more »