Culchie Buys New Trowel For Laying Accent On

A TRIP to the local hardware store has proved useful to one culchie today, as he left with a brand new trowel which will help him to lay his accent on thicker than ever when talking to city-folk. James Kennelly, 34, isn’t quite sure why he makes his already-thick midlands accent even thicker when talking… Read more »

Local Youth Pleads With Younger Brother To Stop Hitting Himself

“WHY? Why are you doing this to yourself” cries 12-year-old Michael Guinan, desperately trying to prevent his 8-year old brother Liam from repeatedly smacking himself in the face. “Stop, please stop hitting yourself… stop hitting yourself!” he continued. The situation in the Guinan household is not an isolated one. Across the country, dozens of younger… Read more »

New Sarcasm Font Has Been Released And It Is Brilliant

IN a rare example of online tech giants coming together to work on a joint venture, Facebook, Google, Apple and Microsoft have jointly unveiled a new ‘sarcasm font’ which will seek to resolve misunderstanding online. The font which online users have already claimed is ‘a super, super good idea and NOT a waste of time… Read more »

Dozens Of Women Hospitalised By Local Fanny Magnet

THERE were grisly scenes in Waterford city centre this afternoon, after dozens of women suffered severe pubic injuries when a local fanny magnet walked into town. Sean Coughlin, 34, attracted vaginas to himself with such force that in some instances, women reported that their genitals were ripped away from their bodies. Reports have confirmed that Coughlin… Read more »

Local Man Doesn’t Answer Private Numbers

“If you can’t be bothered showing your number, I can’t be bothered answering your call” These are the words of Kevin Dalton, a local school teacher who refuses to say yes to private numbers. WWN arranged to meet the 36-year-old at his home in Tramore, where he bravely spoke to us about his ongoing dilemma. “I’ve… Read more »