Category: BREAKING NEWS


Russia Trial Bear Referees For Upcoming World Cup

AFTER a recent spate of unsavoury incidents involving the intimidation of referees, Russia has proposed an innovative solution to the cancer on football that is professional footballers. Famed for constantly diving to win penalties, cheating to gain minor advantages throughout each second of a game and having shit haircuts, footballers are potentially the only element… Read more »

WWN Guide To Being Really, Really Sorry

WELL, you’ve gone and done it now. From highly-publicised allegations of sexual impropriety to near-fatal drink-driving crashes, celebrities and well-known people need to be ready to drop a heartfelt apology as quickly as possible, to let the public know that they really, really just want everyone to forget about whatever horrible shit they’ve just done…. Read more »

Brexit Revealed To Be Performance Art

“GOTCHA” laughed Theresa May, at a special press conference today where the entire ‘Brexit’ project was revealed to be a piece of performance art, causing the entire UK to breathe a sigh of relief so great that it shifted the whole country a foot to the left. May, who has spent her entire tenure as… Read more »

Local Football Fan Still Doesn’t Rate Man City

DESPITE Man United’s 1-0 loss to West Brom securing the 2018 Premier League for Manchester City, one local football fan remains adamant they are nothing more than a rag tag bunch of untalented semi-professional footballers who got very lucky. Ciaran Ballane (22) explained to friends and football forums that it takes more than winning a… Read more »