“Couple Of U2 Tickets There If Anyone’s Looking”


FORMER president of the Olympic Council of Ireland Pat Hickey has a couple of tickets for U2’s Joshua Tree anniversary tour in Dublin, if anyone’s looking. Speaking from his home in Castleknock, Dublin, Mr. Hickey stated he has ‘a good few premiere tickets’ he is willing to ‘offload’, and that they will be distributed on a first come,… Read more »

Baptism Barrier Operator Jobs Under Threat

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OVER 3,000 baptism barrier operator jobs are in jeopardy today after Minister for Education Richard Bruton announced he would be scrapping the age-old checkpoints, which gives Catholic children priority admission in 9 out of every 10 primary schools in the country. Baptism barriers were first put in place in the late 1940s to insure every child entering… Read more »

Local IT To Run Course In Being A Total Fucking Legend


WATERFORD Institute of Technology is to begin running extra modules for its upcoming 2017/2018 academic year, aimed at helping students to have an ‘awesome fucking time’ at college and enter the job market as ‘fully qualified badass legends’. Working on the proven fact that college life isn’t just about learning the skills to carry you… Read more »

“Fuck This, I’m Switching To Long Ball” Confirms Guardiola


MANCHESTER CITY manager and well renowned fraud, Pep Guardiola, has sensationally revealed he intends to change his football philosophy after his side’s 4-0 trouncing by Everton yesterday. “Fuck this, I’m switching to long ball,” Guardiola confirmed in his post-match press conference before instructing the City hierarchy to do everything to sign Peter Crouch and Marouane… Read more »