THE EUROPEAN UNION will officially disband once Angela Merkel formally steps down as German Chancellor in 2021, WWN can exclusively reveal.
“It’s like Take That after Robbie left or when Zayn left One Direction, we can’t go on, we’ll just be a shit cover band really,” French PM Emmanuel Macron shared with WWN, clearly upset it was all coming to an end.
“Oh what’s the fucking point,” Merkel declared after her Christian Democrats party suffered embarrassing results in regional elections, with dissatisfaction in her leadership slowly rising amid the growing popularity of the far right.
Reacting to the unexpected news that Merkel will leave politics entirely in 2021, other pro-EU leaders have stated that the Union would disband on the very same date by also stating ‘what’s the fucking point’.
“You lot clearly want far right authoritarian leaders, who are we to stop you? Go on, go crazy, knock yourself out. Go ‘Nationalist’, go fascist, send your neighbour to a labour camp, your wife to a ‘reeducation camp’, submit budgets which will bankrupt your country, see if we bloody care,” confirmed a letter signed by senior EU figures, including Jean Claude Juncker, Donald Tusk, Antonio Tajani and Michel Barnier.
Leaving a leadership vacuum in world politics, Merkel in charge since 2005, was one of the few remaining moderate leaders operating at the forefront of international politics.
Similar to when Robbie Williams left Take That, a helpline will be set up to take calls from distraught politics fans who are upset at Merkel’s decision to call it a day.