Career Guidance From WWN

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THINKING about a change in career? Confused about how to change your life around and get yourself the job you’ve always wanted (and felt you deserved)? Here’s a few helpful things to remember when thinking about your career, keeping in mind that this is Ireland, and you are Irish.

1) Get your dad to see what he can do

Almost 97% of the workforce in Ireland is hired through a system known as ‘someone you know’, whereby someone you know (usually a male relative, sports team associate or ‘lad you went to school with’) will sort you out with a job in the place they work, regardless of your skill level or indeed interest in that particular role.

As such, it’s pretty much impossible to switch careers without having that ‘inside man’ to help you along, so maybe it’s best to just sit back in your current role and watch the boss’ nephew get hired straight out of college while you spin your wheels and descend into thirty years of not giving a fuck.

2) Be glad you have a job

Not content with your current role in the company? In many places, this would motivate you to get your CV out there and see what else there is for you to do. Not in Ireland though; discontent in the workplace is a cardinal sin, with staff expected to be happy with the fact that they’re got any sort of job at all, what with the economy and the unemployment and the foreclosures and the such like. The same goes for anyone seeking a pay rise too – just be glad you’re not on the dole, and get back to doing your job with the absolute minimum amount of enthusiasm and care that you can muster.

3) Know your station

The only reason people tend to lose interest in their current job or career is the onset of a foolish notion that they’re better than this, and that they have more to offer life than just being resigned to menial, pointless servitude. Luckily in Ireland, there are any amount of people to remind you that this isn’t the case. You’re doing this job because it’s all you can do. Never aspire to anything else. Stay in your lane, or we’ll report you to the Notions Police and bring a wave of shame onto you and your entire bloodline.

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