Tag: paddys day

We Appreciate This Is The First Paddy’s Day In Years But For Fuck Sake Donnacha, Act Like You’ve Been Out Of The House Before

FRIENDS of Donnacha Caoimlinn have advised him to perhaps pump the brakes on his St. Patrick’s Day festivities, as he’s currently on track to drink 57 pints today if he keeps his current pace up. “Five pints in an hour is fairly unsustainable Donny, maybe just go a bit handy,” said one of Caoimlinn’s mates,… Read more »

Your Paddy’s Day Survival Guide

IT’S BEEN a while and even the most hardened veteran of Paddy’s Days past is entitled to a bout of humility and admit they need a refresher course in how to survive the carnage. Here’s a reminder of all the handy tips you’ll need to help you survive the festivities: Remember to eat 5 portions… Read more »

Council Worker Misses Post-Paddy’s Day Clean Up

AN IDLE council worker facing a vomit-less, pissing-in-public-less, broken glass-less morning at work this 18th of March admitted to pining for the good old days of the post-apocalyptic scenes of destruction that followed Paddy’s Day. “Ah there was always a bit of a surprise, a drunken student fallen asleep on top of a lamppost, watching… Read more »

St. Patrick Facts You May Not Know

GET to know Ireland’s patron saint better with these lesser known facts about St. Patrick: Credited with using the shamrock to explain the Holy Trinity, St. Patrick was actually trying to explain the concept of the 3-in-1 Chinese to the Irish. St Patrick was Ireland’s first official entry to the Eurovision appearing in a duet… Read more »