Uilleann Pipes Player Going To Absolutely Shred The Living Shit Out Of Danny Boy
GATHERING pent up and unspent energy over three long years with nowhere to put it local uilleann pipes player Cormac O’Carroll will finally unleash it all in an electric performance as he absolutely fucking nails Danny Boy later today in the St Patrick’s Day parade.
“I’m like a coiled spring, and once I pipe I ain’t gonna stop,” said the musician who has advised crowds to stand at least ten feet back as he can’t be held liable for how much he’s going to shred the Irish standard.
“Danny Boy is going to be played by a man possessed, I can’t quantify the level of uncontrolled piping I’m going to do but it’s going to be biblical,” O’Carroll added, his eyes imbued with the intensity of 2,000 trad sessions being stuffed together inside a phone box.
“This is what I’m built for, this is my stage – it’s where I’m at home and it’s been too long,” explained O’Carroll, as music experts suggest the adrenaline rush marching bands get from being cheered on by a Paddy’s Day crowd is like doing a kilo of coke and a six pack of Monster energy drinks while your heart is shot out of a canon.
“And you think I’m going to stop at Danny Boy? Not a chance it’s going to be wall to wall bangers,” added O’Carroll who pleaded with groupies seeking to sleep with him to form an orderly queue as he doesn’t want the mayhem that occurred at the 2019 parade to be repeated.