COAL which vaporizes into a heat-less, smokeless plume is to be enforced across the country from January 1st, 2020 and will come in a variety of fruity fragrances, WWN has learned. The new fuel is expected to bring Ireland’s carbon emissions in line with its European counterparts while also curtailing the number of fire related… Read more »
AFTER IRISH Rail confirmed on Twitter yesterday that all the coffee and tea cups they use are recyclable but that they don’t actually recycle them because on closer inspection they aren’t actually recyclable in Ireland and they weren’t recycling them in the first place anyway, the Irish public is even more keen to learn some… Read more »
THE SWEDISH teenage climate activist admitted the move would understandably upset some people but that the damage done to the environment generated by the making, wrapping and posting of gifts, and the gas-guzzling flights home to loved ones is too severe and must end. The cancellation of the beloved celebrations will come as a blow… Read more »
Acting with truly inspiring cruelty and vengeance despite her young age, Greta Thunberg has already downed five tankers and hijacked several merchant ships with plastic-laden containers during her journey across the Atlantic. The young activist, who is due in Madrid today to attend the Climate Summit held from the 2nd-13th of December, has given orders… Read more »
OUTSPOKEN Scandinavian upstart Greta Thunberg has finally realised that there’s more to life than relentlessly campaigning against climate change after striking up a relationship with a 17-year-old boy racer who drives around town in a heavily-modded, petrol-chugging 1998 Honda Civic. Precocious Swede Thunberg proved herself to be a massive pain in the hole for world… Read more »
THE FORESTS outside Sydney, Australia have become the most recent wooded area to set itself on fire in a protest against climate change, following the example lead by the Amazonian rainforests earlier this year, and the subsequent Californian forest fires. It is believed the forests are self-immolating in the style of monks who set themselves… Read more »
SAVVY caffeine fans have outlined their plans to lie underneath coffee machines and allow the scalding hot liquid to pour directly into their open mouths, in a bid to avoid the incoming 25 cent single-use coffee cup levy aimed at tackling excess waste. “The government think they can force us into buying re-usable coffee cups… Read more »
FRESH FROM speaking of the ‘benefits’ of global warming and climate disaster such as ‘lower heating bills’ at the unveiling of the government’s first progress report on its Climate Action Plan ‘The Shock’ AKA ‘Your Boy Leo’ AKA ‘The Big L’ AKA ‘Doc Malady’ Leo Varadkar has offered up his environmental wisdom to WWN, providing… Read more »
“ILLEGAL dumping was in danger of getting a bad name for itself unless we changed our ways,” said notorious Waterford fly-tipper Ian Heelan, while studiously separating his rubbish into ‘General Waste’, ‘Organic/Compostable’ and ‘Recycling’ piles ahead of a dumping session. “We had to move with the times, or else we’d look like we just didn’t… Read more »
RECORD numbers of the public are vocally supporting the call for drastic climate action that would preserve the health of the planet as long as the necessary action in no way requires them to alter any part of their daily lives and habits. As Extinction Rebellion activists stage a week of protests and disruption around… Read more »