Acting with truly inspiring cruelty and vengeance despite her young age, Greta Thunberg has already downed five tankers and hijacked several merchant ships with plastic-laden containers during her journey across the Atlantic. The young activist, who is due in Madrid today to attend the Climate Summit held from the 2nd-13th of December, has given orders… Read more »
OUTSPOKEN Scandinavian upstart Greta Thunberg has finally realised that there’s more to life than relentlessly campaigning against climate change after striking up a relationship with a 17-year-old boy racer who drives around town in a heavily-modded, petrol-chugging 1998 Honda Civic. Precocious Swede Thunberg proved herself to be a massive pain in the hole for world… Read more »
THE FORESTS outside Sydney, Australia have become the most recent wooded area to set itself on fire in a protest against climate change, following the example lead by the Amazonian rainforests earlier this year, and the subsequent Californian forest fires. It is believed the forests are self-immolating in the style of monks who set themselves… Read more »
SAVVY caffeine fans have outlined their plans to lie underneath coffee machines and allow the scalding hot liquid to pour directly into their open mouths, in a bid to avoid the incoming 25 cent single-use coffee cup levy aimed at tackling excess waste. “The government think they can force us into buying re-usable coffee cups… Read more »
FRESH FROM speaking of the ‘benefits’ of global warming and climate disaster such as ‘lower heating bills’ at the unveiling of the government’s first progress report on its Climate Action Plan ‘The Shock’ AKA ‘Your Boy Leo’ AKA ‘The Big L’ AKA ‘Doc Malady’ Leo Varadkar has offered up his environmental wisdom to WWN, providing… Read more »
“ILLEGAL dumping was in danger of getting a bad name for itself unless we changed our ways,” said notorious Waterford fly-tipper Ian Heelan, while studiously separating his rubbish into ‘General Waste’, ‘Organic/Compostable’ and ‘Recycling’ piles ahead of a dumping session. “We had to move with the times, or else we’d look like we just didn’t… Read more »
RECORD numbers of the public are vocally supporting the call for drastic climate action that would preserve the health of the planet as long as the necessary action in no way requires them to alter any part of their daily lives and habits. As Extinction Rebellion activists stage a week of protests and disruption around… Read more »
INITIALLY dismissing the idea of reintroducing wolves to Ireland as ludicrous proposal from Green Party hippies, the Irish government is slowly coming round to the idea after an emergency cabinet meeting. “What do we know about wolves guys?” the Taoiseach said as he began a Power Point presentation in front of his ministers. “They have… Read more »
THE IRISH people have begun a last ditch attempt to get the government to treat the issue of climate change with the urgency it requires, hitting upon the idea of persuading them to think of the ailing planet like it was a tax dodging multinational firm only nominally based in Ireland. “We tried the whole… Read more »
AN ELECTRIC PICNIC festival goer has admitted to being ‘devastated’ and ‘shocked’ at the news that his herculean effort in not leaving behind his tent in a heap will not see him receive some sort of Nobel Prize, WWN can confirm. Like a considerable portion of festival goers who now pack up and take their… Read more »