THE EU is set to come down hard on father-of-three Noel Norton after the Waterford native exceeded Ireland’s carbon emissions target after ingesting a curry from local Indian take away Have A Goa This. Eye witnesses confirm that Norton spent the evening post-dinner leaning to one side, arching his leg and emitting the sort of… Read more »
“Bssssshatschibssssssshatschi!” This is what it sounds like when honey bee Annie goes about her work. The 39-day-old suffers from a pollen allergy – a particularly tough bit of bad luck for someone in her industry. “My grandparents on both sides were pollen collectors, my parents too – there was no question what I would do… Read more »
MIRRORING incredible scenes in Venice, where tourist-free canals produced fantastic displays of marine life swimming freely in the now clear waters below, Dublin followed suit with some beautiful sights of its own. Vintage Quinnsworth shopping trolleys, bikes, discarded handguns and a treasure trove of relics from times gone by are now visible in the once… Read more »
CHIEFS of the world’s leading airlines have angrily lashed out at eco-crusading teenager Greta Thunberg over Covid-19, which has seen flights grounded worldwide and billions shaved off their stock value, WWN can report. Although the world remains on grave alert about the fate of humanity over the coming few months, reports are coming through that… Read more »
COAL which vaporizes into a heat-less, smokeless plume is to be enforced across the country from January 1st, 2020 and will come in a variety of fruity fragrances, WWN has learned. The new fuel is expected to bring Ireland’s carbon emissions in line with its European counterparts while also curtailing the number of fire related… Read more »
AFTER IRISH Rail confirmed on Twitter yesterday that all the coffee and tea cups they use are recyclable but that they don’t actually recycle them because on closer inspection they aren’t actually recyclable in Ireland and they weren’t recycling them in the first place anyway, the Irish public is even more keen to learn some… Read more »
THE SWEDISH teenage climate activist admitted the move would understandably upset some people but that the damage done to the environment generated by the making, wrapping and posting of gifts, and the gas-guzzling flights home to loved ones is too severe and must end. The cancellation of the beloved celebrations will come as a blow… Read more »
Acting with truly inspiring cruelty and vengeance despite her young age, Greta Thunberg has already downed five tankers and hijacked several merchant ships with plastic-laden containers during her journey across the Atlantic. The young activist, who is due in Madrid today to attend the Climate Summit held from the 2nd-13th of December, has given orders… Read more »
OUTSPOKEN Scandinavian upstart Greta Thunberg has finally realised that there’s more to life than relentlessly campaigning against climate change after striking up a relationship with a 17-year-old boy racer who drives around town in a heavily-modded, petrol-chugging 1998 Honda Civic. Precocious Swede Thunberg proved herself to be a massive pain in the hole for world… Read more »
THE FORESTS outside Sydney, Australia have become the most recent wooded area to set itself on fire in a protest against climate change, following the example lead by the Amazonian rainforests earlier this year, and the subsequent Californian forest fires. It is believed the forests are self-immolating in the style of monks who set themselves… Read more »