Here’s The Acceptable Ways To Protest Fossil Fuel Companies Sleepwalking Planet To Oblivion


AS protesters belonging to the Just Stop Oil group make headlines with silly stunts such as throwing soup at a Van Gogh painting, the question of how to appropriately protest the evisceration of the planet has reared its head once more.

WWN has conducted the largest ever public survey aimed at gauging the general public’s opinions on appropriate protests when it comes to staging a public demonstration against fossil fuel companies hastening climate change disaster.

The results are clear, and pave the way for a huge movement led by people and approved by the overwhelming majority of the human race, 99% of respondents stated their preferred form of protest against such things that will actually lead to the required planet-saving changes:

“Something that inconveniences me in no way, and that never reaches me personally – so it’s easy to ignore or never hear about. Like, we get it but could you just fucking not? Thanks. Sign an online petition like a normal person, jeez”.

A separate survey of the protesters themselves has seen them take on the helpful feedback they’ve received in recent days leading them to confirm their next ‘stunt’ will be a lot more targeted and involve murdering all oil executives across the world.